Oh boy, I tell you I was working on both a Blogababble mini & a 'TSDMUTFW' entry which are now no longer relevant. It's been a rough two weeks for me, working every day of the week & getting fucking sick because some mouth breather couldn't cover his mouth coughing. Agh, fuck this job & the people in it, especially fuckboii new employee who's always asking me for a pen. This is adulthood, why the fuck am I still being approached with bullshit like this! Yet when I forget to bring a pen, I'm always met with the bullshit lecture of being ill-prepared? That shit drives me up the fucking wall!
This installment I will be playing 'catch up' with the current affairs which have occurred these past few months.
Going back to the old format for this. Let's sink this bitch!
I was about to talk about the whole 'Brett Cavanaugh' court trial. ….......He did it, case closed. Sadly we can't have nice things.
STAN LEE
Another loss to the comic world. This year more than any other year we have been loosing so many comic book creators, artists, people who have made a difference in the comic industry. We lost Ditko, we lost Harlan Ellison (Who dabbled in comic work), William Vance, Jack Cummins (Who was president of 'BOOM! Studios' and 'Archaia Press'), Mort Walker who created Beetle Bailey, but we also lost Stan Lee.
Say what you will about the man, the over exaggerated good & the bad. Everyone's got their view of the man, but I think we can all agree the man loved comics, he breathed comics & we as comic fans admired that about the man! I've not read any of his comics work (Besides some of his early Spider-Man newspaper reprints that came out in 2007), but I remember even as a child I loved reading his 'Stan's Soapbox' column he wrote & was published in almost every Marvel title. Of course for a while his article was then replaced by 'Bullpen Bulletins' done by the then current editor in chief of Marvel such as Jim Shooter, Archie Goodwin, Mark Gruenwall. As I said, Stan Lee loved comics, loved writing them, loved talking about them & I very much related to that. From the process of storytelling to the way he dealt with writing stories with a message, whether it be subtle or not. While reading the Spider-Man drug comic may seem dated & cliché, it was a step in the right direction. Sure, DC would eventually print their Green Lantern/Green Arrow issue (Where Speedy is caught injecting heroin & Green Arrow just smacks the bloody fuck out of him) outside CCA jurasdiction & deal with drugs in a much more realistic way, but I don't think DC would of even tried if it wasn't for Marvel & Stan Lee breaking the ice in his own clean way. From what I have seen of Stan Lee's writing (Via episodes of 'Atop The Fourth Wall'), he's very much a golden age writer who writes comics in a golden age style. Every sentence in the dialogue ends with an exclamation point! Actions are loud & very bombastic and heroic! That's writing comics the Marvel way!
Stan Lee was the face of Marvel & I won't say I'm saddened to hear of his passing because he lived a good life. Sure, we're gonna miss his cameos, but he left behind a very important & timeless legacy. Age 90, that's a whole lifetime to fulfill everything he wanted to fulfill. One of the best pieces of important advice I heard Stan say was in a comic book documentary (It was the one on PBS that aired a few years ago) where he said (Paraphrasing here) “Kids don't like to be lectured at. Being lectured just reminds them of school or reminds them of being punished by their parents. The only way you can tech kids is by speaking to them in their language. By letting their favorite heroes show them why something is bad.” That's advice that has very much stuck to me for such a long time & I have applied that philosophy into my writing.
So whether you hate the man or love him, you can all admit that the man was passionate & accomplished a lot in a medium that took a loooooong while to reach the same status as Film, Music & even Television. Despite all the positives, lets admit he had some failures in his career which we can't ignore. Even though most of these ventures only had his name & no creative involvement, at the end of the day he put his name on something, gave the people his okay & received his check. NightCat, he wrote the first 7 issues of 'Ravage 2099' back when Marvel had their futuristic 2099 line, his franchising of an original property like 'Striperella'. Yes, he put his name on Striperella, that launch animated show for the 'new' SpikeTV back when that hit in the early 2000's. Oh man I miss that channel for the sole fact that it just didn't give a flying fuck who it offended. That anime X-Men & Wolverine show, which on paper sounds very awesome, but its execution is less than satisfactory. The comics community doesn't acknowledge the bad, only the good. Aside from the ones I mentioned where he put his name, the problem was the time when those comics were published in the 90's, Stan wrote comics the same way he wrote comics in the 60's, he never really matured with the times & it felt outdated. After 'Watchmen' and 'Sandman', people were way past that old Marvel Way of writing. Also those stories he wrote were done in 90's gritty art, if he were to do them like DC comics did in the early 2000's with his re-imaginings, it would of worked as a brilliant retro throwback. For all you non-comic nerds out there, Stan Lee was offered a chance to re-imagine a handful of DC characters like Green Lantern & Wonder Woman & a bunch of others. I actually recommend those as fun little throwback reads. Okay, we can't ignore the whole Spider-Man debacle that occurred where he took full credit for something he co-created, but one thing that annoys me is he's being blamed for something he had no control over, like all those bad 90's decisions like the Holo-foil comic covers, all those useless X-Men spinoffs, all the bad decisions Marvel made when comics were selling out. That wasn't Stan Lee's decisions, at that point Stan Lee wasn't president of Marvel & the company became a publically traded corporation. I forget who owned Marvel at that turbulent time, but that's the guy who ruined Marvel comics.
He had a brilliant legacy, as stated he was passionate for comics & storytelling. Doesn't matter how old or young you are, Stan Lee has had an effect on all of us as comics readers or as people who love superheroes. Whether you read his comics first run, grew up reading 'Stans Soapbox', his stint on 'Bullpen Bulletins' or are a young kid watching his brief cameos, he's been there for all of us & it's great knowing we were around while this inspiration of a man was still around.
Hey, I'm sure Stan was paid very well for those random cameos. Still, I wish he had a cameo where he was a butler or janitor at Avengers HQ, he's cleaning up & without a thought he picks up Thor's hammer just to clean the bottom of it & puts it back. That would have been a brilliant & funny cameo scene.
Rest in Peace
So this past month we had middterm elections & while national politics are black & white, the city/state side of politics were just grey, hazy and all around confusing. Good god I always have a terrible sense of what's going on in the state because you got all the newspapers being pro this, anti that, owned & bought by one singular opinion. How about just reporting the facts, telling me who paid for so and so's campaign? Oh but we can't have nice things. I'm gonna feel shitty about this, but I will admit this year I didn't vote & couldn't vote. Ever since working the third shift, life has been going by very quickly & a lot of this important bullshit that should of come by me just zipped past my grasp. Sleep all day, work all night, wake up to nothing but Spongebob, Paw Patrol & Maury Povich finding the baby mama/baby daddy. Isn't it sad when being unemployed was when I had time to look up all this shit? Shit's fucked. So as a civil, non-paid duty & to make amends for my political laziness, I'm gonna speak on a few of these propositions that were on the California ballots. I'm not gonna sit here & say what you should of voted on, because reading through this (Or trying to read through this) was quite a trip. One that many people were confused about was the ballot measure for Prop 10, but the measure was written in such a bland & vague way that it confused many voters, including MOI. And sadly many folks were fooled into voting against controlling the price of rent. The way I saw it was these idiot lawmakers were saying if we don't vote for rent control, rent is going to increase, but if we do the rent will still increase. Jeazus H.R Christopher Columbus' rape dick!
Then you get Prop 9 which was removed by the California Supereme Court. I can't tell you what it was. For all we know it let people walk around pantless. I would of voted Yes on that shit! No pants tuesday! Prop 7 is fucking bizarre, a vote to see whether California decides they want to deal with Daylight Savings Time. I don't know what to say, it's as if lawmakers had a quota to fill, it was a Friday close to checkout time.
Prop 4 is an initiative to spend funds for new Children's hospitals, all I got to say is if you didn't vote that in, then you hate children & hate adorable pets you fucking monsters. SHPOUEE!
One that hits home is Prop 2, which would authorize specilized homes for the homeless, but for some reason the Summary here on the voter's guide only says it's home for “Individuals with mental illness”. Wow, way to sugar coat the issue you fucking bourgeois slime. Um, Harbor City, lotta folks roaming around without a roof on their head, I've only met one who was not right in the mind & she whispered to herself, THANK GOD! Most of them asked me for change, dropped a few bucks their way, they smiled. On Facebook I'm in a city neighborhood watch group & I'll say there are a few of these 'citizens' who always complain about the homeless in this city. Now to be honest most of their complaints are fair, but some of them are soo fucking one percenter that it's almost like a parody of a rich Beverly Hills person. Sometimes I gotta sit back & say “Biiiiiitch, is this your first time living in Harbor City?” That's how some of these people on there react to the homeless situation. As stated before, some of the complaints I've seen are valid. Not too long ago there was a dump of a swamp right near where a 'Salvation Army' now resides (Yeah, & they haven't done shit to help the homless issue. Instead I feel they made the issue worse because there was a bigger increase in homeless activity in the city than there was before they were established). Well some years later the city worked on the swamp & turned it into this walkthrough lake with a concrete trial where people can walk or ride their bike through, hoping it would attract the community & tourism. Instead it attracted the local homeless population & now that place is now as a shantytown where you see nothing but tents there. Nobody can't go through there without getting yelled at by some druggie. Like, wow, great job guys. This was meant to be a place where kids & adults can hike in a safe environment, but just like anything positive we can't have nice things. Still, on the other side of the issue we can't sic the local cops to bust down their tents & drive them out of town or else we'll just be passing the problem off to the next town (Wilmington or Lomita, take your pick). Then there's the ethical side of it, we're criminalizing people for being down on their luck. I kinda do see a solution but all these lawmakers & politicians are too chicken shit to do anything positive about it & of course you got all these rich bitches complaining that their unused neighborhood patch of land is being used for housing for the homeless. On the news I saw a piece on this guy who owns this yard for truckers who leave behind their cargo bins there & how they are running out of space for these huge cargo bins. It's been said that the Port of Long Beach has been dumping those bins into the sea. Here's a better way, convert those bins into affordable housing! Oh but oh no, we can't have that. All us chicken shit state tax capitalists want a cut of that, so does the city & of we also can't let the neighbors help other less unfortunate people out because “We don't want their kind in our neighborhood. Property taxes, reputiations, blah blah blah. But for every homless person who really wants to stay out of the cold & out of the harsh streets, you got these fucking methedone wastes of god's skin who ruin it for everyone by smoking their crack & stealing shit that isn't theirs. A long while back my mom had a bin of cans she always recycles at the beginning of every year, well some dumbass bum was attempting to steal it because “Hey, I'm a fucking bum. Everything I see is mine. I can smoke my crack in the middle of the street & I don't care who I fucking offend by pulling my pants down. I can do whateva I want!” Good god, you fuckers are making me sound like a fucking rich bitch right now complainging about the existence of bums. I must remind people before they take my words out of context, I'm not calling for crazy fuckers to start pouring gas on homless folks & setting them on fire. I'm just asking for there to be a solution to this problem. A solution everyone can agree to, because I see a lot of bitching about the homeless & a lot of bitching about getting a cut of the tax they can suck out of these people & a lot of bitching about property values because of course we also got this issue here in LA about gentrification. To all you landowner hipsters, choke on your bile & fucking die! Harsh, I know, but this shit has gotten out of hand.
So that's it for the midterms, I hope next time I don't fucking slack off because I tell ya missing this election made me feel like shit, despite a few successes. In terms of the state election, things have gotten worse with how they manipulate & prey upon the confusion of the voting public. For every bullshit proposition, there's always one proposition that is lost in translation due to the very incoherent legalese that they use just so those who are bought & paid for can get their own way. It's sickening, it's messed up & I hope things get better soon because I see a lot of bullshit.
Good god, you think shit like this would surprise me, but I feel fucking bad that we have gotten to that point when a mass shooting has become so commonplace & I was not at all surprised. What the fuck, I shouldn't be feeling this way! Mass shootings aren't something we should just look at & say “Alright then.” We should still be outraged, angry, depressed & loud about it. Instead all I see is apathy & we continue letting it happen because our government has failed us. I've already discussed the pattern that always happens with the public & the government when something like this happens. All I gotta say is it's going to happen again. Sadly here in California we have some pretty strict gun laws, yet after this I'm sure they're going to become way more stricter. Of course the shooting had to happen in a place where people are having fun (A bar near a college) & the shooter is this Jimbob Hootkins looking motherfucker. What is up with these hick ass motherfuckers shooting up country music venues? It all began in Vegas last year, that's when all that shit happened. A country music event where some hick fuck shot up the place, why? Do rednecks hate fun now or something? Not trying to be grim or jinx anything, but something tells me this is going to be a new pattern. Obese Diabetty shoots up All You Can Eat buffet. I hate how a mass shooting has become typical news where nobody is as outraged, unlike several years ago with Sandy Hook, the news went with that for a couple of months. Now that bar shooting has been overshadowed by another shooting I just heard of today as I write this. Some guy shot up a hospital, I don't know the exact details but of course everyone in the media is pushing mass emphasis on the fact that the guy with the gun was Latino. Sorry to be a nihilist here, but at this point I see no end in this cycle. Some people will cry gun control, a bunch of Jim Bobs will cry unconstitutional, more shootings will happen & everyone in government will just continue to say their pretty words & not do anything because all this in-fighting between citizens is what they feed on to get away with all the other messed up bullshit that they're getting away with. Just today I'm hearing a bunch of border patrol lackeys just fired tear gas into the crowds of refugee illegal immigrants on the other side of the fence. This wasn't on the U.S side here, it was in the Mexican side. What the fuck is that shit? I'll get into a little bit of that, but this is the type of bullshit that's happening while everyone's complaining about red cups or...no wait that was two years ago......Alright, what's everyone complaining about this time? Whatever, This mass shooting is fucked up as always. When is it never fucked up?
So as I mentioned, a bunch of Central American (Let that be known, a lot of these folks are from Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, Nicaragua.) have been on a caravan to the U.S Border & on their trip they had to travel through Mexico, in which there may have been a few Mexicans on that caravan. You think hipocracy is dead? Well, the attitude the Mexican government & I'm pretty sure a few of the people see this caravan as a neuissance, while at the same time the government enables their own people to cross the border by continuing to let their country's social ills continue. It's all corrupt bullshit, just like America, but Mexican government is so transparent about it. They don't care if everyone knows they're in the pocket of the cartels & special interest groups. So these people are escaping poverty & the criminal warfare that is occuring in their hometowns, hoping America is the last safe refuge, only instead they are greeted with a bunch of border agents with tear gas. 'Sigh', land of the free. But there's so much about this than just refugees. Of course with any large group of people, there always has to be a few bad apples that spoil the fucking broth. A girl got molested in the campgrounds where everyone slept. Then of course a group like that you can't expect the place to be left clean after they leave. So of course there are people that see this huge caravan as a nuisance, imagine a bunch of people settling in your front or back yard & just leaving a mess there as they leave like they said “Yeah, thanks for the crib. Now fuck you.” But I think the attitude towards the caravan according to the government & some of the Mexican people is racist & hypocritical. Sure, growing up Meixcan you tend to see one side of the view (Especially here in America) as we're the unfairly maligned race & straight up public enemy #1 along with all the other dark skinned races. But in Mexico there is an underlying current of racial inequality with treatment of the indigenous peoples, as well as people from Guatemala & everything else from down south. A great example of this is the film 'El Norte' '(The North) where the two Guatemalan teens travel through Mexico to get to the U.S & they're treated like shit by Mexicans. It's this cycle of racism that we as a culture really should get our heads out of. And that's not just Mexicans, I'm talking all races because I see the same shit with other races besides my own. I always see this “Oh I can't be racist because I'm a different skin color” or “I'm racist because people have been racist to me!” This is what I see with the Mexican attitudes towards the caravan. These folks aren't getting respect anywhere & after the molestation & the mess they created, I don't see any of that respect being easily reparable. This is a huge mess & of course this is an even bigger humanitarian crisis than the last one with all the kids behind cages. Mexican government doesn't want them in their country, American government wanted to kill them, it's fucked up!!! Will they even be welcome in the charity establishments set up in Tijuana? That's the one thing I want to know.
I'm pretty sure there's more news stories I should be talking about, but at the moment none are coming to mind. I'll admit, since working graveyards I haven't had a chance to see what's happening in the world. When you wake up midday & sleep at 3am (Sometimes later) the world flies right past you & you got all these people telling me to keep up. Facebook has suddenly gone into the business of trying to hide the news from me or telling me the wrong news. They keep on pushing in their marketing that they're bringing you the facts! Well, on my feed I'm constantly being pushed pages dedicated to posting dog videos, cat videos & for some reason a female page where they constantly show videos of women saying “I can't even.” I don't know what that's about. Twitter's better with news, because at least then & there the people I follow who give it to me straight are at least giving me the news, despite some difference in opinion. Sometimes some of you celebrities are scary when you post the links & talk politics...........JIM CARREY (Your paintings are BlackTime material. Email me homie). One second I'm looking at a picture of a woof woof dog smiling at a kitten & then as I scroll down it's Patricia Arquette saying “If I see another Pro Trump sticker, I'm sodomizing the severed head of a child!!” & I'm just sitting here like “.....I'm frightened.” Alright, that's a massive exaggeration...but some of y'all need to calm down. Quit feeding the fires, we all gon die.
Let's change pace here & talk about the crap that just happened in Entertainment News.
So Apu on 'The Simpsons' is dead. At the end of the day, I'm not outraged because I don't care anymore. 'The Simpsons' should have ended in 2007 when the movie was released. All this happened because some comedian filmed the documentary 'The Problem With Apu' in which he states Apu is a stereotype. Um, is this guy barely catching 'The Simpsons'? Everyone in that show is a stereotype. Homer is a stereotype of fat people, Lisa is a 'now' a stereotype of the atypical liberal. Groundskeeper Willie is a stereotype of the Scottsman, Bumblebee Sabado Gigante, Youtube that sucka! The only two ethnic characters who are portrayed not as stereotypes are Carl & Dr.Hibbert, the two only black characters. But whether people like the removal of characters or not, this isn't the first time the Simpsons showrunners removed characters from their roster. Remember 'Akira', the Japanese guy who ran the sushi restaurant & dojo where Bart wanted to learn karate, but then ditched the classes just to play arcade games? He's been gone since the early 2000's. Haven't seen Bumblebee Man in the few new episodes I've caught. Noted, one character has been removed & it's due to real life tragedy. Phil Hartman died so of course they couldn't continue adding Lionel Hutz or Troy McLure into episodes. I think the reason for all this loud backlash is rather than silently removing Apu from the episodes, they announced it as loudly as they could. If they were quiet about it, would anyone even care? Okay, let's say 'The Simpsons' was still funny & people still cared, why remove Apu?
Sure, the fact that white people voice Apu & his wife is pretty ignorant, but lets focus on the way Apu is presented. Immigrant who isn't a criminal, ladies man, works at the Kiwk-E-Mart then. Ok, on that point if you're going to call that a negative then you must be a pretentious idiot. Let's face it, every culture has a stereotype that always rings true. When do you never see a Mexican working in landscaping, fuck I worked in landscaping! When do you never see Asians working their local liquor shops, I live within walking distance from one! When do you never see white people working an office job? I see them all the time at my job! When are black women never working the DMV? What I'm trying to say is...is it a negative stereotype if it's true? Are we allowed to get angry when someone states the obvious? I agree, we as people of every color are capable of more. We shouldn't be destined to become the stereotype, we're much more capable of doing other things that the mainstream is too fucking slow to think about. That's why I do this site, because I don't want to continue working menial jobs all my life. There's a huge difference between someone coming up to you & saying “You can't do that because you're white. White people are destined to work dull office jobs talking about timeshares & laughing at unfunny Dilbert comics.” So back to Apu, he works a 7/11 job, he's a womanizer in one episode until being roadblocked by tradition in which his parents set him up with an arranged marriage. And while in that episode he fights against it as much as he could, by the end he settles down with Minjula (Who was also voiced by a white person). He works hard & raises his eight kids because octuplets! I repeat the question, where's the negative stereotype? Apu is far from a negative stereotype, in fact he's a positive depiction. You know what's a much more messed up depiction of an Indian person in mainstream entertainment? Fucking Dana Carvey's imitation of an indian man in 'The Master Of Desguise', complete with the turban, the snake in a jar & fucking brownface! You think “Oh, maybe this was made in the 70's or 80's or any of those xenophobic decades.” Two thousand and fucking TWO! Master of Desguise, released nationwide 'August 2, 2002 & sadly that made its money back. Budget of 16 million, made back 43.4 million, WHAT THE FUCK 2000's AMERICA?! Dana Carvey doing a Indian stereotype was messed up, on par with Fisher Stevens in 'Short Circuit II'. Before I end this, let me also dispense another factoid of this fucking movie. The scene where Dana Carvey is in that ridiculous turtle disguise & does that “Turtle turtle” shtick was filmed on September 11th, 2001. The cast & crew ceased all work & had a moment of silence, imagine how awkward that was.
So at the end of the day...I'll admit I have a mixture of emotions about this subject. I should be angry, but at the same time I just don't care because 'The Simpsons' hasn't been funny since forever. The last episode I saw of theirs (With a dedicated attempt to laugh at whatever funny humor the show tried to throw at me) was the one where The Simpsons loose their home, until Ned Flanders buys their home. That episode pissed me off! Other than that, all this could have been handled much more better than it was. Sorry not sorry, I guess that's how I'll leave this topic.
On with the next bit of useless ranting news....Detective Pikachu.
Now I'm not going to rant about the style & setting its in. Though if you watch those early seasons of Pokemon, it has a very countryside, mixed with futuristic tech look to it, the comics even more so. Though we do not see that side of the film from the trailers, we see what I believe is Vermillion City or Celadon City (one of those cities from the series) & forests. The city looks very cyberpunk & I'm not complaining. Lots of folks are comparing this to the 93 'Super Mario Bros' film, both in look & what they feel will be an inaccurate film adaptation. At least wait till the film is released. The only thing I find kinda weird is the fact that all the Pokemon who were shown in the trailer looked like that weird fan art where artists depict cartoon characters in a very realistic way. That's what all these Pokemon look like, except for Psyduck. They just added CGI fur to him & called it a day. I'm not complaining, but Mr.Mime looks like a rapist, he's a creepy motherfucker!
WOW!!!! Okay, I just went on google & I was thinking “Hey, I remember when the 'Detective Pikachu' game was about to be released & people were petitioning to have Danny DeVito voice Pikachu in the game? When's that game going to be released?” So I went on google & just found out the game had been out since February of 2016. What the fuck?!! The only way I'm aware of new games is when all you folks on Social Media talk about how cool it looks or photos of you guys comming from the store with the new game. As admitted before, I'm not big on new video games, but would like to own a 3DS or a Vita. So the game came out two years ago & now we're getting a movie. Wow!
So far I have been open minded about most of everything everyone's complaining about, the design, the look, the setting.
Now I'm gonna unleash ranting hell right now & I must complain, why in fuck are so many main characters in kids movies (or movies that know will have a child audience) must have annoying, awkward, nerdy fucking characters? All I see is this guy, Justice Smith (There's a fake screen name if I ever saw one) as a Sam Witwicky type from those 'Transformers' movies. All that's missing is him running & shouting “No no no no nononononooooo!!!” I miss the days when characters were human & not fucking stereotypes!!! That's all I see, I'm sure in the film they'll go in-depth & elaborate on this guy, but the trailers (Which I must remind you all, they aren't fully representative of the film as a whole) just show me this guy is WACKY & SOCIALLY AWKWARD in front of UBER ATTRACTIVE WOMEN or women Hollywood wants me to think is attractive!! Sorry, I'm not into chicks who look like they stepped out of a CW drama. I already know what's gonna happen, this fucking guy is gonna meet a Misty type female character, he's gonna stutter & to make himself seem more cool than he is by lying to her about cool shit he isn't. Seeen't it! That's one thing that pissed me off about 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens', John Boyega is an Ex-Stormtrooper & rather than making him badass, they made him what I just described, a reason for humor to exist. Look at him lie to Rey so he can get in her panties! Now let's get into the real vitriol I have for some choices here, Ryan Reynolds..........WHY HIM? Oh, because all the boyos love that Deadpool & all them womens are getting their painties soaked because of him! Where's Danny DeVito? Or a funnier choice, why isn't David Cronenberg voicing him? Now I don't hate Ryan Reynolds, for the most part I enjoyed Deadpool, need to check out that sequel....but once you start pushing him into everything & telling him “Just do Deadpool without cuss words.”, you're on your way to beating a dead horse. That's all I see with the few scenes I've seen of him portraying a talking Pikachu. It's just a PG rated Deadpool with a Pikachu costume! On that note, Marvel made a Christmas Deadpool that's PG-13. Not that I'm complaining, but it seems too soon. Didn't the second flick come out this year? So to me that seems like a rushed product, but I'll have to see it to believe it. So Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu....it all feels like Pikachu has been altered to fit Ryan's snark. I'm surprised in the trailer he didn't talk to the audience like “Hey my peeps, I'm pikachu. I'm talking to you because that is all you guys now expect of me. Poopy Cowabunga!” Before anyone starts praising Japan for their pure adaptations of anime, they even fucked up Pikachu as well. There was that remake movie that was released last year (Aired on Disney XD) where Pikachu had a Kawaii voice. I thought pikachu was a boy? And they made her sound like a bitch. My opinon.
The trailer....because of Ryan Reynolds I cringed through the few dialogue sequences of the trailer. It all seems like all the effort was put into how many 'funny' lines & moments they could shove into the film & less about story. For some reason this Pokemon movie has Transformers/Marvel movie styled special effects where mountains & earth is just breaking up while the characters are trying to escape the earthly destruction. Not that I'm saying Pokemon is a serious & dramatic property, but there's a thing all storytellers, screenwriters & all artists should learn and that is PACING and TONE. Now I'm not per-judging the film here. For all I know the film might turn out brilliantly....but then it might also be horrible at the same time. From the trailers I feel the tone will be out of the place because it looks like the creative people wanted a dark detective noir with pikachu, but of course the big studio (Warner Bros/Legendary Pictures) wants humor so they can target the film to everyone. That's a big reason why movies today (Especially superhero movies) always shove in as much 'funny' humor in them, so they can target everyone & have enough footage to lure the typical movie going family to the theater. Can't let the trailer/promotionals dictate the quality. Just recently I've been seeing more & more promos for 'Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse' and all they're showing is the comedy bits like Miles Morales slamming into walls. I truly believe the people in charge of this flick are making a superhero animated flick that isn't straight to video. I believe the film is going to be like what 'Batman: Mask of the Phantasm' was, it's an animated superhero flick where the main character is a tween, but unlike B:MOTP that film might get its audience. I say 'humor' in parentheses because more often then not these funny lines either work or don't.
Now lets get into the positives.....Psyduck looks funny. That's my positive, but also I kinda wish they took more wild ass liberties, oh but oh no you can't or else Naruto headband wearing 37 year olds will start shooting up public places or something. I would of loved if they made Pikachu into a yellow rat, or if Jigglypuff was a pink balloon with a face. Then they turn Vileplume into this creepy ass flower designed by Cronenberg or better yet, all the Pokemon should be designed by H.R Giger....all we need is to find a way to bring him back to life. So 'Detective Pikachu'....I can't really sit here & say this is going to be a good movie, but I do have hope.
To wrap this segment up, we're at a very hazy point in filmmaking where directors are making films that are visually faithful to the original source material, but on a storytelling level there's still some work that needs to be improved. Gone are the days when people were hyped for 'Super Mario Bros' as a live action film & what they get instead is a wild, high budget episode of 'Max Headroom'. Not to say back in the day we had unfaithful movie adaptations, just look at the 1995 'Mortal Kombat' film, despite it being PG-13 it looks like the arcade games & embellishes more story into the product than what was presented. One thing I do see is the big studios that adapt are kinda knowing what they're greenlighting, but at the same time it just came out that Paul WS Anderson (From 'Resident Evil' movie fame) is in charge of making a 'Monster Hunter' movie. I've never played any of the games, well I played a demo on the PSP & I couldn't tell you if I was playing it right, but since when did 'Monster Hunter' take place in the present with Iraq War soldiers?
This installment I will be playing 'catch up' with the current affairs which have occurred these past few months.
Going back to the old format for this. Let's sink this bitch!
I was about to talk about the whole 'Brett Cavanaugh' court trial. ….......He did it, case closed. Sadly we can't have nice things.
STAN LEE
Another loss to the comic world. This year more than any other year we have been loosing so many comic book creators, artists, people who have made a difference in the comic industry. We lost Ditko, we lost Harlan Ellison (Who dabbled in comic work), William Vance, Jack Cummins (Who was president of 'BOOM! Studios' and 'Archaia Press'), Mort Walker who created Beetle Bailey, but we also lost Stan Lee.
Say what you will about the man, the over exaggerated good & the bad. Everyone's got their view of the man, but I think we can all agree the man loved comics, he breathed comics & we as comic fans admired that about the man! I've not read any of his comics work (Besides some of his early Spider-Man newspaper reprints that came out in 2007), but I remember even as a child I loved reading his 'Stan's Soapbox' column he wrote & was published in almost every Marvel title. Of course for a while his article was then replaced by 'Bullpen Bulletins' done by the then current editor in chief of Marvel such as Jim Shooter, Archie Goodwin, Mark Gruenwall. As I said, Stan Lee loved comics, loved writing them, loved talking about them & I very much related to that. From the process of storytelling to the way he dealt with writing stories with a message, whether it be subtle or not. While reading the Spider-Man drug comic may seem dated & cliché, it was a step in the right direction. Sure, DC would eventually print their Green Lantern/Green Arrow issue (Where Speedy is caught injecting heroin & Green Arrow just smacks the bloody fuck out of him) outside CCA jurasdiction & deal with drugs in a much more realistic way, but I don't think DC would of even tried if it wasn't for Marvel & Stan Lee breaking the ice in his own clean way. From what I have seen of Stan Lee's writing (Via episodes of 'Atop The Fourth Wall'), he's very much a golden age writer who writes comics in a golden age style. Every sentence in the dialogue ends with an exclamation point! Actions are loud & very bombastic and heroic! That's writing comics the Marvel way!
Stan Lee was the face of Marvel & I won't say I'm saddened to hear of his passing because he lived a good life. Sure, we're gonna miss his cameos, but he left behind a very important & timeless legacy. Age 90, that's a whole lifetime to fulfill everything he wanted to fulfill. One of the best pieces of important advice I heard Stan say was in a comic book documentary (It was the one on PBS that aired a few years ago) where he said (Paraphrasing here) “Kids don't like to be lectured at. Being lectured just reminds them of school or reminds them of being punished by their parents. The only way you can tech kids is by speaking to them in their language. By letting their favorite heroes show them why something is bad.” That's advice that has very much stuck to me for such a long time & I have applied that philosophy into my writing.
So whether you hate the man or love him, you can all admit that the man was passionate & accomplished a lot in a medium that took a loooooong while to reach the same status as Film, Music & even Television. Despite all the positives, lets admit he had some failures in his career which we can't ignore. Even though most of these ventures only had his name & no creative involvement, at the end of the day he put his name on something, gave the people his okay & received his check. NightCat, he wrote the first 7 issues of 'Ravage 2099' back when Marvel had their futuristic 2099 line, his franchising of an original property like 'Striperella'. Yes, he put his name on Striperella, that launch animated show for the 'new' SpikeTV back when that hit in the early 2000's. Oh man I miss that channel for the sole fact that it just didn't give a flying fuck who it offended. That anime X-Men & Wolverine show, which on paper sounds very awesome, but its execution is less than satisfactory. The comics community doesn't acknowledge the bad, only the good. Aside from the ones I mentioned where he put his name, the problem was the time when those comics were published in the 90's, Stan wrote comics the same way he wrote comics in the 60's, he never really matured with the times & it felt outdated. After 'Watchmen' and 'Sandman', people were way past that old Marvel Way of writing. Also those stories he wrote were done in 90's gritty art, if he were to do them like DC comics did in the early 2000's with his re-imaginings, it would of worked as a brilliant retro throwback. For all you non-comic nerds out there, Stan Lee was offered a chance to re-imagine a handful of DC characters like Green Lantern & Wonder Woman & a bunch of others. I actually recommend those as fun little throwback reads. Okay, we can't ignore the whole Spider-Man debacle that occurred where he took full credit for something he co-created, but one thing that annoys me is he's being blamed for something he had no control over, like all those bad 90's decisions like the Holo-foil comic covers, all those useless X-Men spinoffs, all the bad decisions Marvel made when comics were selling out. That wasn't Stan Lee's decisions, at that point Stan Lee wasn't president of Marvel & the company became a publically traded corporation. I forget who owned Marvel at that turbulent time, but that's the guy who ruined Marvel comics.
He had a brilliant legacy, as stated he was passionate for comics & storytelling. Doesn't matter how old or young you are, Stan Lee has had an effect on all of us as comics readers or as people who love superheroes. Whether you read his comics first run, grew up reading 'Stans Soapbox', his stint on 'Bullpen Bulletins' or are a young kid watching his brief cameos, he's been there for all of us & it's great knowing we were around while this inspiration of a man was still around.
Hey, I'm sure Stan was paid very well for those random cameos. Still, I wish he had a cameo where he was a butler or janitor at Avengers HQ, he's cleaning up & without a thought he picks up Thor's hammer just to clean the bottom of it & puts it back. That would have been a brilliant & funny cameo scene.
Rest in Peace
So this past month we had middterm elections & while national politics are black & white, the city/state side of politics were just grey, hazy and all around confusing. Good god I always have a terrible sense of what's going on in the state because you got all the newspapers being pro this, anti that, owned & bought by one singular opinion. How about just reporting the facts, telling me who paid for so and so's campaign? Oh but we can't have nice things. I'm gonna feel shitty about this, but I will admit this year I didn't vote & couldn't vote. Ever since working the third shift, life has been going by very quickly & a lot of this important bullshit that should of come by me just zipped past my grasp. Sleep all day, work all night, wake up to nothing but Spongebob, Paw Patrol & Maury Povich finding the baby mama/baby daddy. Isn't it sad when being unemployed was when I had time to look up all this shit? Shit's fucked. So as a civil, non-paid duty & to make amends for my political laziness, I'm gonna speak on a few of these propositions that were on the California ballots. I'm not gonna sit here & say what you should of voted on, because reading through this (Or trying to read through this) was quite a trip. One that many people were confused about was the ballot measure for Prop 10, but the measure was written in such a bland & vague way that it confused many voters, including MOI. And sadly many folks were fooled into voting against controlling the price of rent. The way I saw it was these idiot lawmakers were saying if we don't vote for rent control, rent is going to increase, but if we do the rent will still increase. Jeazus H.R Christopher Columbus' rape dick!
Then you get Prop 9 which was removed by the California Supereme Court. I can't tell you what it was. For all we know it let people walk around pantless. I would of voted Yes on that shit! No pants tuesday! Prop 7 is fucking bizarre, a vote to see whether California decides they want to deal with Daylight Savings Time. I don't know what to say, it's as if lawmakers had a quota to fill, it was a Friday close to checkout time.
Prop 4 is an initiative to spend funds for new Children's hospitals, all I got to say is if you didn't vote that in, then you hate children & hate adorable pets you fucking monsters. SHPOUEE!
One that hits home is Prop 2, which would authorize specilized homes for the homeless, but for some reason the Summary here on the voter's guide only says it's home for “Individuals with mental illness”. Wow, way to sugar coat the issue you fucking bourgeois slime. Um, Harbor City, lotta folks roaming around without a roof on their head, I've only met one who was not right in the mind & she whispered to herself, THANK GOD! Most of them asked me for change, dropped a few bucks their way, they smiled. On Facebook I'm in a city neighborhood watch group & I'll say there are a few of these 'citizens' who always complain about the homeless in this city. Now to be honest most of their complaints are fair, but some of them are soo fucking one percenter that it's almost like a parody of a rich Beverly Hills person. Sometimes I gotta sit back & say “Biiiiiitch, is this your first time living in Harbor City?” That's how some of these people on there react to the homeless situation. As stated before, some of the complaints I've seen are valid. Not too long ago there was a dump of a swamp right near where a 'Salvation Army' now resides (Yeah, & they haven't done shit to help the homless issue. Instead I feel they made the issue worse because there was a bigger increase in homeless activity in the city than there was before they were established). Well some years later the city worked on the swamp & turned it into this walkthrough lake with a concrete trial where people can walk or ride their bike through, hoping it would attract the community & tourism. Instead it attracted the local homeless population & now that place is now as a shantytown where you see nothing but tents there. Nobody can't go through there without getting yelled at by some druggie. Like, wow, great job guys. This was meant to be a place where kids & adults can hike in a safe environment, but just like anything positive we can't have nice things. Still, on the other side of the issue we can't sic the local cops to bust down their tents & drive them out of town or else we'll just be passing the problem off to the next town (Wilmington or Lomita, take your pick). Then there's the ethical side of it, we're criminalizing people for being down on their luck. I kinda do see a solution but all these lawmakers & politicians are too chicken shit to do anything positive about it & of course you got all these rich bitches complaining that their unused neighborhood patch of land is being used for housing for the homeless. On the news I saw a piece on this guy who owns this yard for truckers who leave behind their cargo bins there & how they are running out of space for these huge cargo bins. It's been said that the Port of Long Beach has been dumping those bins into the sea. Here's a better way, convert those bins into affordable housing! Oh but oh no, we can't have that. All us chicken shit state tax capitalists want a cut of that, so does the city & of we also can't let the neighbors help other less unfortunate people out because “We don't want their kind in our neighborhood. Property taxes, reputiations, blah blah blah. But for every homless person who really wants to stay out of the cold & out of the harsh streets, you got these fucking methedone wastes of god's skin who ruin it for everyone by smoking their crack & stealing shit that isn't theirs. A long while back my mom had a bin of cans she always recycles at the beginning of every year, well some dumbass bum was attempting to steal it because “Hey, I'm a fucking bum. Everything I see is mine. I can smoke my crack in the middle of the street & I don't care who I fucking offend by pulling my pants down. I can do whateva I want!” Good god, you fuckers are making me sound like a fucking rich bitch right now complainging about the existence of bums. I must remind people before they take my words out of context, I'm not calling for crazy fuckers to start pouring gas on homless folks & setting them on fire. I'm just asking for there to be a solution to this problem. A solution everyone can agree to, because I see a lot of bitching about the homeless & a lot of bitching about getting a cut of the tax they can suck out of these people & a lot of bitching about property values because of course we also got this issue here in LA about gentrification. To all you landowner hipsters, choke on your bile & fucking die! Harsh, I know, but this shit has gotten out of hand.
So that's it for the midterms, I hope next time I don't fucking slack off because I tell ya missing this election made me feel like shit, despite a few successes. In terms of the state election, things have gotten worse with how they manipulate & prey upon the confusion of the voting public. For every bullshit proposition, there's always one proposition that is lost in translation due to the very incoherent legalese that they use just so those who are bought & paid for can get their own way. It's sickening, it's messed up & I hope things get better soon because I see a lot of bullshit.
Good god, you think shit like this would surprise me, but I feel fucking bad that we have gotten to that point when a mass shooting has become so commonplace & I was not at all surprised. What the fuck, I shouldn't be feeling this way! Mass shootings aren't something we should just look at & say “Alright then.” We should still be outraged, angry, depressed & loud about it. Instead all I see is apathy & we continue letting it happen because our government has failed us. I've already discussed the pattern that always happens with the public & the government when something like this happens. All I gotta say is it's going to happen again. Sadly here in California we have some pretty strict gun laws, yet after this I'm sure they're going to become way more stricter. Of course the shooting had to happen in a place where people are having fun (A bar near a college) & the shooter is this Jimbob Hootkins looking motherfucker. What is up with these hick ass motherfuckers shooting up country music venues? It all began in Vegas last year, that's when all that shit happened. A country music event where some hick fuck shot up the place, why? Do rednecks hate fun now or something? Not trying to be grim or jinx anything, but something tells me this is going to be a new pattern. Obese Diabetty shoots up All You Can Eat buffet. I hate how a mass shooting has become typical news where nobody is as outraged, unlike several years ago with Sandy Hook, the news went with that for a couple of months. Now that bar shooting has been overshadowed by another shooting I just heard of today as I write this. Some guy shot up a hospital, I don't know the exact details but of course everyone in the media is pushing mass emphasis on the fact that the guy with the gun was Latino. Sorry to be a nihilist here, but at this point I see no end in this cycle. Some people will cry gun control, a bunch of Jim Bobs will cry unconstitutional, more shootings will happen & everyone in government will just continue to say their pretty words & not do anything because all this in-fighting between citizens is what they feed on to get away with all the other messed up bullshit that they're getting away with. Just today I'm hearing a bunch of border patrol lackeys just fired tear gas into the crowds of refugee illegal immigrants on the other side of the fence. This wasn't on the U.S side here, it was in the Mexican side. What the fuck is that shit? I'll get into a little bit of that, but this is the type of bullshit that's happening while everyone's complaining about red cups or...no wait that was two years ago......Alright, what's everyone complaining about this time? Whatever, This mass shooting is fucked up as always. When is it never fucked up?
So as I mentioned, a bunch of Central American (Let that be known, a lot of these folks are from Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, Nicaragua.) have been on a caravan to the U.S Border & on their trip they had to travel through Mexico, in which there may have been a few Mexicans on that caravan. You think hipocracy is dead? Well, the attitude the Mexican government & I'm pretty sure a few of the people see this caravan as a neuissance, while at the same time the government enables their own people to cross the border by continuing to let their country's social ills continue. It's all corrupt bullshit, just like America, but Mexican government is so transparent about it. They don't care if everyone knows they're in the pocket of the cartels & special interest groups. So these people are escaping poverty & the criminal warfare that is occuring in their hometowns, hoping America is the last safe refuge, only instead they are greeted with a bunch of border agents with tear gas. 'Sigh', land of the free. But there's so much about this than just refugees. Of course with any large group of people, there always has to be a few bad apples that spoil the fucking broth. A girl got molested in the campgrounds where everyone slept. Then of course a group like that you can't expect the place to be left clean after they leave. So of course there are people that see this huge caravan as a nuisance, imagine a bunch of people settling in your front or back yard & just leaving a mess there as they leave like they said “Yeah, thanks for the crib. Now fuck you.” But I think the attitude towards the caravan according to the government & some of the Mexican people is racist & hypocritical. Sure, growing up Meixcan you tend to see one side of the view (Especially here in America) as we're the unfairly maligned race & straight up public enemy #1 along with all the other dark skinned races. But in Mexico there is an underlying current of racial inequality with treatment of the indigenous peoples, as well as people from Guatemala & everything else from down south. A great example of this is the film 'El Norte' '(The North) where the two Guatemalan teens travel through Mexico to get to the U.S & they're treated like shit by Mexicans. It's this cycle of racism that we as a culture really should get our heads out of. And that's not just Mexicans, I'm talking all races because I see the same shit with other races besides my own. I always see this “Oh I can't be racist because I'm a different skin color” or “I'm racist because people have been racist to me!” This is what I see with the Mexican attitudes towards the caravan. These folks aren't getting respect anywhere & after the molestation & the mess they created, I don't see any of that respect being easily reparable. This is a huge mess & of course this is an even bigger humanitarian crisis than the last one with all the kids behind cages. Mexican government doesn't want them in their country, American government wanted to kill them, it's fucked up!!! Will they even be welcome in the charity establishments set up in Tijuana? That's the one thing I want to know.
I'm pretty sure there's more news stories I should be talking about, but at the moment none are coming to mind. I'll admit, since working graveyards I haven't had a chance to see what's happening in the world. When you wake up midday & sleep at 3am (Sometimes later) the world flies right past you & you got all these people telling me to keep up. Facebook has suddenly gone into the business of trying to hide the news from me or telling me the wrong news. They keep on pushing in their marketing that they're bringing you the facts! Well, on my feed I'm constantly being pushed pages dedicated to posting dog videos, cat videos & for some reason a female page where they constantly show videos of women saying “I can't even.” I don't know what that's about. Twitter's better with news, because at least then & there the people I follow who give it to me straight are at least giving me the news, despite some difference in opinion. Sometimes some of you celebrities are scary when you post the links & talk politics...........JIM CARREY (Your paintings are BlackTime material. Email me homie). One second I'm looking at a picture of a woof woof dog smiling at a kitten & then as I scroll down it's Patricia Arquette saying “If I see another Pro Trump sticker, I'm sodomizing the severed head of a child!!” & I'm just sitting here like “.....I'm frightened.” Alright, that's a massive exaggeration...but some of y'all need to calm down. Quit feeding the fires, we all gon die.
Let's change pace here & talk about the crap that just happened in Entertainment News.
So Apu on 'The Simpsons' is dead. At the end of the day, I'm not outraged because I don't care anymore. 'The Simpsons' should have ended in 2007 when the movie was released. All this happened because some comedian filmed the documentary 'The Problem With Apu' in which he states Apu is a stereotype. Um, is this guy barely catching 'The Simpsons'? Everyone in that show is a stereotype. Homer is a stereotype of fat people, Lisa is a 'now' a stereotype of the atypical liberal. Groundskeeper Willie is a stereotype of the Scottsman, Bumblebee Sabado Gigante, Youtube that sucka! The only two ethnic characters who are portrayed not as stereotypes are Carl & Dr.Hibbert, the two only black characters. But whether people like the removal of characters or not, this isn't the first time the Simpsons showrunners removed characters from their roster. Remember 'Akira', the Japanese guy who ran the sushi restaurant & dojo where Bart wanted to learn karate, but then ditched the classes just to play arcade games? He's been gone since the early 2000's. Haven't seen Bumblebee Man in the few new episodes I've caught. Noted, one character has been removed & it's due to real life tragedy. Phil Hartman died so of course they couldn't continue adding Lionel Hutz or Troy McLure into episodes. I think the reason for all this loud backlash is rather than silently removing Apu from the episodes, they announced it as loudly as they could. If they were quiet about it, would anyone even care? Okay, let's say 'The Simpsons' was still funny & people still cared, why remove Apu?
Sure, the fact that white people voice Apu & his wife is pretty ignorant, but lets focus on the way Apu is presented. Immigrant who isn't a criminal, ladies man, works at the Kiwk-E-Mart then. Ok, on that point if you're going to call that a negative then you must be a pretentious idiot. Let's face it, every culture has a stereotype that always rings true. When do you never see a Mexican working in landscaping, fuck I worked in landscaping! When do you never see Asians working their local liquor shops, I live within walking distance from one! When do you never see white people working an office job? I see them all the time at my job! When are black women never working the DMV? What I'm trying to say is...is it a negative stereotype if it's true? Are we allowed to get angry when someone states the obvious? I agree, we as people of every color are capable of more. We shouldn't be destined to become the stereotype, we're much more capable of doing other things that the mainstream is too fucking slow to think about. That's why I do this site, because I don't want to continue working menial jobs all my life. There's a huge difference between someone coming up to you & saying “You can't do that because you're white. White people are destined to work dull office jobs talking about timeshares & laughing at unfunny Dilbert comics.” So back to Apu, he works a 7/11 job, he's a womanizer in one episode until being roadblocked by tradition in which his parents set him up with an arranged marriage. And while in that episode he fights against it as much as he could, by the end he settles down with Minjula (Who was also voiced by a white person). He works hard & raises his eight kids because octuplets! I repeat the question, where's the negative stereotype? Apu is far from a negative stereotype, in fact he's a positive depiction. You know what's a much more messed up depiction of an Indian person in mainstream entertainment? Fucking Dana Carvey's imitation of an indian man in 'The Master Of Desguise', complete with the turban, the snake in a jar & fucking brownface! You think “Oh, maybe this was made in the 70's or 80's or any of those xenophobic decades.” Two thousand and fucking TWO! Master of Desguise, released nationwide 'August 2, 2002 & sadly that made its money back. Budget of 16 million, made back 43.4 million, WHAT THE FUCK 2000's AMERICA?! Dana Carvey doing a Indian stereotype was messed up, on par with Fisher Stevens in 'Short Circuit II'. Before I end this, let me also dispense another factoid of this fucking movie. The scene where Dana Carvey is in that ridiculous turtle disguise & does that “Turtle turtle” shtick was filmed on September 11th, 2001. The cast & crew ceased all work & had a moment of silence, imagine how awkward that was.
So at the end of the day...I'll admit I have a mixture of emotions about this subject. I should be angry, but at the same time I just don't care because 'The Simpsons' hasn't been funny since forever. The last episode I saw of theirs (With a dedicated attempt to laugh at whatever funny humor the show tried to throw at me) was the one where The Simpsons loose their home, until Ned Flanders buys their home. That episode pissed me off! Other than that, all this could have been handled much more better than it was. Sorry not sorry, I guess that's how I'll leave this topic.
On with the next bit of useless ranting news....Detective Pikachu.
Now I'm not going to rant about the style & setting its in. Though if you watch those early seasons of Pokemon, it has a very countryside, mixed with futuristic tech look to it, the comics even more so. Though we do not see that side of the film from the trailers, we see what I believe is Vermillion City or Celadon City (one of those cities from the series) & forests. The city looks very cyberpunk & I'm not complaining. Lots of folks are comparing this to the 93 'Super Mario Bros' film, both in look & what they feel will be an inaccurate film adaptation. At least wait till the film is released. The only thing I find kinda weird is the fact that all the Pokemon who were shown in the trailer looked like that weird fan art where artists depict cartoon characters in a very realistic way. That's what all these Pokemon look like, except for Psyduck. They just added CGI fur to him & called it a day. I'm not complaining, but Mr.Mime looks like a rapist, he's a creepy motherfucker!
WOW!!!! Okay, I just went on google & I was thinking “Hey, I remember when the 'Detective Pikachu' game was about to be released & people were petitioning to have Danny DeVito voice Pikachu in the game? When's that game going to be released?” So I went on google & just found out the game had been out since February of 2016. What the fuck?!! The only way I'm aware of new games is when all you folks on Social Media talk about how cool it looks or photos of you guys comming from the store with the new game. As admitted before, I'm not big on new video games, but would like to own a 3DS or a Vita. So the game came out two years ago & now we're getting a movie. Wow!
So far I have been open minded about most of everything everyone's complaining about, the design, the look, the setting.
Now I'm gonna unleash ranting hell right now & I must complain, why in fuck are so many main characters in kids movies (or movies that know will have a child audience) must have annoying, awkward, nerdy fucking characters? All I see is this guy, Justice Smith (There's a fake screen name if I ever saw one) as a Sam Witwicky type from those 'Transformers' movies. All that's missing is him running & shouting “No no no no nononononooooo!!!” I miss the days when characters were human & not fucking stereotypes!!! That's all I see, I'm sure in the film they'll go in-depth & elaborate on this guy, but the trailers (Which I must remind you all, they aren't fully representative of the film as a whole) just show me this guy is WACKY & SOCIALLY AWKWARD in front of UBER ATTRACTIVE WOMEN or women Hollywood wants me to think is attractive!! Sorry, I'm not into chicks who look like they stepped out of a CW drama. I already know what's gonna happen, this fucking guy is gonna meet a Misty type female character, he's gonna stutter & to make himself seem more cool than he is by lying to her about cool shit he isn't. Seeen't it! That's one thing that pissed me off about 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens', John Boyega is an Ex-Stormtrooper & rather than making him badass, they made him what I just described, a reason for humor to exist. Look at him lie to Rey so he can get in her panties! Now let's get into the real vitriol I have for some choices here, Ryan Reynolds..........WHY HIM? Oh, because all the boyos love that Deadpool & all them womens are getting their painties soaked because of him! Where's Danny DeVito? Or a funnier choice, why isn't David Cronenberg voicing him? Now I don't hate Ryan Reynolds, for the most part I enjoyed Deadpool, need to check out that sequel....but once you start pushing him into everything & telling him “Just do Deadpool without cuss words.”, you're on your way to beating a dead horse. That's all I see with the few scenes I've seen of him portraying a talking Pikachu. It's just a PG rated Deadpool with a Pikachu costume! On that note, Marvel made a Christmas Deadpool that's PG-13. Not that I'm complaining, but it seems too soon. Didn't the second flick come out this year? So to me that seems like a rushed product, but I'll have to see it to believe it. So Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu....it all feels like Pikachu has been altered to fit Ryan's snark. I'm surprised in the trailer he didn't talk to the audience like “Hey my peeps, I'm pikachu. I'm talking to you because that is all you guys now expect of me. Poopy Cowabunga!” Before anyone starts praising Japan for their pure adaptations of anime, they even fucked up Pikachu as well. There was that remake movie that was released last year (Aired on Disney XD) where Pikachu had a Kawaii voice. I thought pikachu was a boy? And they made her sound like a bitch. My opinon.
The trailer....because of Ryan Reynolds I cringed through the few dialogue sequences of the trailer. It all seems like all the effort was put into how many 'funny' lines & moments they could shove into the film & less about story. For some reason this Pokemon movie has Transformers/Marvel movie styled special effects where mountains & earth is just breaking up while the characters are trying to escape the earthly destruction. Not that I'm saying Pokemon is a serious & dramatic property, but there's a thing all storytellers, screenwriters & all artists should learn and that is PACING and TONE. Now I'm not per-judging the film here. For all I know the film might turn out brilliantly....but then it might also be horrible at the same time. From the trailers I feel the tone will be out of the place because it looks like the creative people wanted a dark detective noir with pikachu, but of course the big studio (Warner Bros/Legendary Pictures) wants humor so they can target the film to everyone. That's a big reason why movies today (Especially superhero movies) always shove in as much 'funny' humor in them, so they can target everyone & have enough footage to lure the typical movie going family to the theater. Can't let the trailer/promotionals dictate the quality. Just recently I've been seeing more & more promos for 'Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse' and all they're showing is the comedy bits like Miles Morales slamming into walls. I truly believe the people in charge of this flick are making a superhero animated flick that isn't straight to video. I believe the film is going to be like what 'Batman: Mask of the Phantasm' was, it's an animated superhero flick where the main character is a tween, but unlike B:MOTP that film might get its audience. I say 'humor' in parentheses because more often then not these funny lines either work or don't.
Now lets get into the positives.....Psyduck looks funny. That's my positive, but also I kinda wish they took more wild ass liberties, oh but oh no you can't or else Naruto headband wearing 37 year olds will start shooting up public places or something. I would of loved if they made Pikachu into a yellow rat, or if Jigglypuff was a pink balloon with a face. Then they turn Vileplume into this creepy ass flower designed by Cronenberg or better yet, all the Pokemon should be designed by H.R Giger....all we need is to find a way to bring him back to life. So 'Detective Pikachu'....I can't really sit here & say this is going to be a good movie, but I do have hope.
To wrap this segment up, we're at a very hazy point in filmmaking where directors are making films that are visually faithful to the original source material, but on a storytelling level there's still some work that needs to be improved. Gone are the days when people were hyped for 'Super Mario Bros' as a live action film & what they get instead is a wild, high budget episode of 'Max Headroom'. Not to say back in the day we had unfaithful movie adaptations, just look at the 1995 'Mortal Kombat' film, despite it being PG-13 it looks like the arcade games & embellishes more story into the product than what was presented. One thing I do see is the big studios that adapt are kinda knowing what they're greenlighting, but at the same time it just came out that Paul WS Anderson (From 'Resident Evil' movie fame) is in charge of making a 'Monster Hunter' movie. I've never played any of the games, well I played a demo on the PSP & I couldn't tell you if I was playing it right, but since when did 'Monster Hunter' take place in the present with Iraq War soldiers?
Doesn't this game take place in a fantasy world with knights & goblins & Mexican princesses?
And for our last bit of news, let's talk VIDYA GAYMEZ!!!
So this year we had the release of the Mini SNK arcade cabinet which I really really really want! I don't care if it's just an emulated 4:3 screen ratio arcade cabinet, it looks cool & I wanna replay all those Metal Slug games! That's going to be my X-mas gift to myself, because that's where I'm at in my life. I also wanted a Mini-SNES, but it's either expensive as fuck, there's no way of winning one on Ebay or they're all fucking cheap bootlegs. So we have been inundated with miniature re-releases of classic video game consoles which play faithful ports of games we remembered from our past. There's even a classic 'Mini Nintendo 64' on its way that I for sure am going to buy on day one. So when that news hit, Sony & their arrogant “We can do it better than you!” mentality decided to unleash news of a Mini Sony PSOne. Now the news of this hit big, everyone was excited...that was until they released a list of the 20 games they will be adding to the device. Twenty games? Why that small number? I checked out the games & yeah...a few aren't really well remembered classics or well known household names, but to call them all crappy games I feel is an insult. I agree, it's lacking the classic Sony games that made Playstation last longer & paying $99.99 for that library (that you can honsestly get for waaaaaaaaaay cheaper in the used market) is criminal. I saw the posts on Twitter & it was disheartening that you had people making fun of these titles as “Oh, it's those games your weird cousin had whenever you visted him & played his PSone.” There are a few that I'll agree aren't as good as they think they are, but I will defend most of these titles & they are waaaay better than these twitter hipsters think!
Here's the official list of these titles:
-Battle Arena Toshinden: Never played that one, it's one of those games that came out right after games like 'Tekken' and 'Virtua Fighter' hit big. So I'll restrain from this one.
-Cool Boarders 2: I heard this one was the best Snowboarding game on the console. The N64 had '1080 Snowboarding', the PSone had Cool Boarders. I'll take the people's word for this, never played this one.
-Destruction Derby: Again, gotta take the people's word for it. For its time the game was pretty innovative as it was able to recreate battle damage. The first 3-D game of its time to be able to accurately show damage physics, because of course, you're in a demolition derby. That's one I've seen a lot, read about it a lot in video game magazines & heard a lot about.
-Final Fantasy VII: Oh the game everyone loves! I admit I like it, but the story is so cliched & common if you watch a lot of anime. I played this game a lot until my PSN got hacked.
-Grand Theft Auto: I'll admit, this game didn't age well. I'm not complaining about the graphics or anything, but the gameplay is really a step down after comparing it to the sequels (GTA II, GTA III, GTA VC, GTA SA, GTA IV, GTA L&D, GTA BOGT, GTA V). I have the re-release & trying to navigate through the city in that top down view is horrid, especially with the lack of an on screen map. The only form of navigation you got is a compass which can really fuck with you because you think you're going the right way, that is until you hit a dead end & find out you need to cross another bridge to another part of the city & by the time you find out the time runs out & there's no way of replaying the mission again. I prefer the PSOne DLC for this game called '1969 London'. Oh yeah, before DLC was sold in online stores, they sold DLC in physical releases called 'Expansion Packs'. That one is much better than the actual game. So the original game has its place in history, but it does not hold up today.
-Intelligent Cube: Haven't played it, want to.
-Jumping Flash: Again, haven't played it, want to.
-Metal Gear Solid: This fucking game! Oh my god, I would of shat myself if I played this back in my childhood! This game tricks the living fuck out of you & that is one of the big reasons why this game is as well remembered as it is. The CD case 4th wall breaking trick, the Psycho Mantis trick. Hideo Kojima is a master trickster & I fucking love that guy for it! Also for some reason in this game Solid Snake looks like Mikey from 'Suicidal Tendancies'.
And for our last bit of news, let's talk VIDYA GAYMEZ!!!
So this year we had the release of the Mini SNK arcade cabinet which I really really really want! I don't care if it's just an emulated 4:3 screen ratio arcade cabinet, it looks cool & I wanna replay all those Metal Slug games! That's going to be my X-mas gift to myself, because that's where I'm at in my life. I also wanted a Mini-SNES, but it's either expensive as fuck, there's no way of winning one on Ebay or they're all fucking cheap bootlegs. So we have been inundated with miniature re-releases of classic video game consoles which play faithful ports of games we remembered from our past. There's even a classic 'Mini Nintendo 64' on its way that I for sure am going to buy on day one. So when that news hit, Sony & their arrogant “We can do it better than you!” mentality decided to unleash news of a Mini Sony PSOne. Now the news of this hit big, everyone was excited...that was until they released a list of the 20 games they will be adding to the device. Twenty games? Why that small number? I checked out the games & yeah...a few aren't really well remembered classics or well known household names, but to call them all crappy games I feel is an insult. I agree, it's lacking the classic Sony games that made Playstation last longer & paying $99.99 for that library (that you can honsestly get for waaaaaaaaaay cheaper in the used market) is criminal. I saw the posts on Twitter & it was disheartening that you had people making fun of these titles as “Oh, it's those games your weird cousin had whenever you visted him & played his PSone.” There are a few that I'll agree aren't as good as they think they are, but I will defend most of these titles & they are waaaay better than these twitter hipsters think!
Here's the official list of these titles:
-Battle Arena Toshinden: Never played that one, it's one of those games that came out right after games like 'Tekken' and 'Virtua Fighter' hit big. So I'll restrain from this one.
-Cool Boarders 2: I heard this one was the best Snowboarding game on the console. The N64 had '1080 Snowboarding', the PSone had Cool Boarders. I'll take the people's word for this, never played this one.
-Destruction Derby: Again, gotta take the people's word for it. For its time the game was pretty innovative as it was able to recreate battle damage. The first 3-D game of its time to be able to accurately show damage physics, because of course, you're in a demolition derby. That's one I've seen a lot, read about it a lot in video game magazines & heard a lot about.
-Final Fantasy VII: Oh the game everyone loves! I admit I like it, but the story is so cliched & common if you watch a lot of anime. I played this game a lot until my PSN got hacked.
-Grand Theft Auto: I'll admit, this game didn't age well. I'm not complaining about the graphics or anything, but the gameplay is really a step down after comparing it to the sequels (GTA II, GTA III, GTA VC, GTA SA, GTA IV, GTA L&D, GTA BOGT, GTA V). I have the re-release & trying to navigate through the city in that top down view is horrid, especially with the lack of an on screen map. The only form of navigation you got is a compass which can really fuck with you because you think you're going the right way, that is until you hit a dead end & find out you need to cross another bridge to another part of the city & by the time you find out the time runs out & there's no way of replaying the mission again. I prefer the PSOne DLC for this game called '1969 London'. Oh yeah, before DLC was sold in online stores, they sold DLC in physical releases called 'Expansion Packs'. That one is much better than the actual game. So the original game has its place in history, but it does not hold up today.
-Intelligent Cube: Haven't played it, want to.
-Jumping Flash: Again, haven't played it, want to.
-Metal Gear Solid: This fucking game! Oh my god, I would of shat myself if I played this back in my childhood! This game tricks the living fuck out of you & that is one of the big reasons why this game is as well remembered as it is. The CD case 4th wall breaking trick, the Psycho Mantis trick. Hideo Kojima is a master trickster & I fucking love that guy for it! Also for some reason in this game Solid Snake looks like Mikey from 'Suicidal Tendancies'.
Seperated at birth?
-Mr.Driller: Will refer to the people who played it. It looks like a fun puzzle game, had no idea it had a PSone release. I remember the GBA release more.
-Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee: It's one of those grid games where the world is set up in a grid & each grid is a screen with pitfalls & logic puzzles that must be completed, as well as enemies to take out. That's one I really want to check out. I haven't really gotten back to playing 'Heart of Darkness', now that's a game that needs to be on this list.
-Rayman: I've only played the second game on N64. I think the first game is for free on I-tunes & Google Play. May need to check that one out.
-Resident Evil: Director's Cut: I just bought this game off of Josh Hadley (From Radiodrome, WTF, Lost in the Static). I've only played the second & third Resident Evil games. Why aren't those also included into this?
-Revelations: Persona: I want to play those Shin Megami games, but finding used copies is a bitch. Who would pay $60 for Shin Megami games without the manual & game case? I do want to check out those that they made for the Nintendo DS. I guess that's the gem in the whole collection. Everything else in this package costs way less than $20 on the used market, except for this one. Check on Ebay & get ready to die of a heart attack. That game is expensive as hell, even for a PSone game.
-Ridge RacerType 4: It's a racing game. A good one, but a racing game none the less. Sadly in this list none of the two 'Grand Turismo' games are seen anywhere. That is a crime against nature there.
-Super Puzzle Fighter II TURBO: Now these games are cool & all, but what about a Street Fighter game? Of all the Street Fighter games, we would of expected them to add in 'Street Fighter Alpha 3', thee best in the Street Fighter PSone library. If it's a fighter you need, remove Battle Toshinden and add SFA3.
-Syphon Filter: This game is the mothafucking TITS!!!!!! I love this game & sadly I don't have it in my colelction, except for the sequel. This game is great, the pacing is alright, the gameplay is perfect, the soundtrack is phenomenal. The sequel is also cool, the only problem with it is it's relentlessly difficult. I have yet to play that third game. I played that PSP 'Dark Mirror' sequel & the story felt like a corny 90's action film, but what that game lacks in story makes up for it in graphics, soundtrack & gameplay. I highly recommend those PSP games (which were then ported over to the Playstation 2). That whole franchise needed a PS3 game, now it needs a PS4 game.
-Tekken 3: This is the best game in the PS one trilogy. This game adds in more into the roster (Including more secret unlockable characters), more game modes like a side scrollling beat 'em up mode & the soundtrack is much more better than the previous entries in the series. I found myself listening to both the PS One & Arcade soundtracks since they are remixed or extended versions. I would love a better copy of this game, my original copy is so scratched to shit that it doesn't want to play right. The soundtrack keeps skipping & when I reach the final level it crashes.
-Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: I never have been one for tactical shooters. Too much strategics & too much getting shot first before executing plans. I really don't get it as much. I am more of a “Rush in, shoot anything that moves, collect loot.” type of shooter here. The only strategic shooter I've been able to get a grip on were the 'SOCOM' games. They were simple enough for me to comprehend how to stealthily take out enemies without triggering alarms. I guess this game has its place in history, but I'm just not eager to play those kinds of games.
-Twisted Metal: I've played the third game (With that Rob Zombie soundtrack) and the PSP one. Other than that, 'Twisted Metal' is a series I really need to check out.
-Wild Arms: A JRPG, that's all you need to know. If you've played one JRPG, you practically played them all.
So all these games, I agree there need to be more of the classics like all the Spyro games, all the Crash Bandicoot games, maybe even a release of this sadly forgotten game called 'Omega Boost' which is Sony's solution to a Gundam video game, except better. Any of the 'Front Mission' games, well since they have the first Resident Evil, why not 'Dino Crisis'? Or why not bring back 'Bloody Roar'? Then there's one I own, but it's now expensive as shit, the 'Ghost in the Shell' game where you play as a rookie cop controlling a Tachikoma with machine guns. That game kicks ass & the soundtrack is awesome since it's done by all these Japanese & Euro techno artists like Westbam. That's a game that more people need to play, along with 'Einhander' which I have done nothing but praised. My final thought, I'll grab the mini if it's on clearance or the price drops. I have a gut feeling these systems aren't gong to go out like hot cakes the same way both the NES Mini & SNES Mini have sold out. So I'll take a system just to play Persona & most of those games all you idiots call “The generic games your weird cousin plays”. I'm not recommending spending $100 on this, because most of these games you can buy one the used market for $5, like Syphon Filter. Get yourself a real Playstation (May run you up to $20 or less) & get yourself Syphon Filter or most of these games on the list, they are dirt cheap right now, except for that 'Persona' game.
So that does it for this week's 'Blogbabble'.
Next time....something a little positive, despite it being the worst time of the year.
Email: blacktime.epress@aol.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/BlackTimeEPress/
Twitter: (It's now my own personal twitter joint) https://twitter.com/BlacktimeEPress
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/blacktime-e-press
Site: www.blacktimepress.weeby.com
-Mr.Driller: Will refer to the people who played it. It looks like a fun puzzle game, had no idea it had a PSone release. I remember the GBA release more.
-Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee: It's one of those grid games where the world is set up in a grid & each grid is a screen with pitfalls & logic puzzles that must be completed, as well as enemies to take out. That's one I really want to check out. I haven't really gotten back to playing 'Heart of Darkness', now that's a game that needs to be on this list.
-Rayman: I've only played the second game on N64. I think the first game is for free on I-tunes & Google Play. May need to check that one out.
-Resident Evil: Director's Cut: I just bought this game off of Josh Hadley (From Radiodrome, WTF, Lost in the Static). I've only played the second & third Resident Evil games. Why aren't those also included into this?
-Revelations: Persona: I want to play those Shin Megami games, but finding used copies is a bitch. Who would pay $60 for Shin Megami games without the manual & game case? I do want to check out those that they made for the Nintendo DS. I guess that's the gem in the whole collection. Everything else in this package costs way less than $20 on the used market, except for this one. Check on Ebay & get ready to die of a heart attack. That game is expensive as hell, even for a PSone game.
-Ridge RacerType 4: It's a racing game. A good one, but a racing game none the less. Sadly in this list none of the two 'Grand Turismo' games are seen anywhere. That is a crime against nature there.
-Super Puzzle Fighter II TURBO: Now these games are cool & all, but what about a Street Fighter game? Of all the Street Fighter games, we would of expected them to add in 'Street Fighter Alpha 3', thee best in the Street Fighter PSone library. If it's a fighter you need, remove Battle Toshinden and add SFA3.
-Syphon Filter: This game is the mothafucking TITS!!!!!! I love this game & sadly I don't have it in my colelction, except for the sequel. This game is great, the pacing is alright, the gameplay is perfect, the soundtrack is phenomenal. The sequel is also cool, the only problem with it is it's relentlessly difficult. I have yet to play that third game. I played that PSP 'Dark Mirror' sequel & the story felt like a corny 90's action film, but what that game lacks in story makes up for it in graphics, soundtrack & gameplay. I highly recommend those PSP games (which were then ported over to the Playstation 2). That whole franchise needed a PS3 game, now it needs a PS4 game.
-Tekken 3: This is the best game in the PS one trilogy. This game adds in more into the roster (Including more secret unlockable characters), more game modes like a side scrollling beat 'em up mode & the soundtrack is much more better than the previous entries in the series. I found myself listening to both the PS One & Arcade soundtracks since they are remixed or extended versions. I would love a better copy of this game, my original copy is so scratched to shit that it doesn't want to play right. The soundtrack keeps skipping & when I reach the final level it crashes.
-Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: I never have been one for tactical shooters. Too much strategics & too much getting shot first before executing plans. I really don't get it as much. I am more of a “Rush in, shoot anything that moves, collect loot.” type of shooter here. The only strategic shooter I've been able to get a grip on were the 'SOCOM' games. They were simple enough for me to comprehend how to stealthily take out enemies without triggering alarms. I guess this game has its place in history, but I'm just not eager to play those kinds of games.
-Twisted Metal: I've played the third game (With that Rob Zombie soundtrack) and the PSP one. Other than that, 'Twisted Metal' is a series I really need to check out.
-Wild Arms: A JRPG, that's all you need to know. If you've played one JRPG, you practically played them all.
So all these games, I agree there need to be more of the classics like all the Spyro games, all the Crash Bandicoot games, maybe even a release of this sadly forgotten game called 'Omega Boost' which is Sony's solution to a Gundam video game, except better. Any of the 'Front Mission' games, well since they have the first Resident Evil, why not 'Dino Crisis'? Or why not bring back 'Bloody Roar'? Then there's one I own, but it's now expensive as shit, the 'Ghost in the Shell' game where you play as a rookie cop controlling a Tachikoma with machine guns. That game kicks ass & the soundtrack is awesome since it's done by all these Japanese & Euro techno artists like Westbam. That's a game that more people need to play, along with 'Einhander' which I have done nothing but praised. My final thought, I'll grab the mini if it's on clearance or the price drops. I have a gut feeling these systems aren't gong to go out like hot cakes the same way both the NES Mini & SNES Mini have sold out. So I'll take a system just to play Persona & most of those games all you idiots call “The generic games your weird cousin plays”. I'm not recommending spending $100 on this, because most of these games you can buy one the used market for $5, like Syphon Filter. Get yourself a real Playstation (May run you up to $20 or less) & get yourself Syphon Filter or most of these games on the list, they are dirt cheap right now, except for that 'Persona' game.
So that does it for this week's 'Blogbabble'.
Next time....something a little positive, despite it being the worst time of the year.
Email: blacktime.epress@aol.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/BlackTimeEPress/
Twitter: (It's now my own personal twitter joint) https://twitter.com/BlacktimeEPress
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/blacktime-e-press
Site: www.blacktimepress.weeby.com