Blacktime E-Press
  • Home lair
  • Blogababble
  • Short Stories
  • Submissions page
  • Comics For Weirdos
  • The Next Panel
  • Blacktime Original Series
  • E L E C T R O N I K C R I T I K

TSDMUTFW: Sickness, Hygiene Etiquette & Gross Parents.

1/28/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
​These past two months were a living hell for me. Being sick, being at work sick & experiencing some of the stupidest crap humanity has to offer while being sick. All this began after thanksgiving if you can believe this. The weeks before Thanksgiving I was building up plans, all to have it come crashing down with a fucking cold & flu. Then my vacation time was rejected, so I wasn't feeling all too hot. That's today's episode. I'm talking Hygiene etiquette, Sickness & Gross Parents.

You know what drives me up the fucking wall?
Having to be self sufficient while being sick. Now I'm a very independent person. I'd rather shop for all my necessities rather than have someone else do it for me. I go to the pharmacy every two or three months to buy whatever to get me by for the month. Whether it be those 5hour Energy shots, deoderant, icy hot, etc & sometimes I'd just come across something that's well worth the impulse buy (That 'Galaga' mini-arcade machine). On an average day that trip to the corner pharmacy is a nice way to get away from that cramped home, take in some fresh air, walk a little to get them muscles working. It's nice.....except when you're sick. I had to travel to what seemed like 500 miles to the corner pharmacy to get myself some cough drops, dayquil, nyquil & some soup just to get through this cold & flu. My body was overworking itself to a point where I was sooooooo dehydrated & was soaked in sweat in otherwise 50 degree weather. People in the shop could not stop staring at me, high school girls giggling at the sight of this soaking wet guy with a clogged up nose, college girls wearing emo clothes looking at me in disgust & old men staring at me in disgust. I'm not my best when I'm sick, well nobody feels well when they're sick so that was a redundant statement there. So the way I shop is I just want to get what I need, pay for my stuff & get out of there. It's rare I'm usually in a talkative mood towards the cashier, especially when they're older women. Seems like I have a way of talking with older women because I relate to them more. For some reason whenever I'm sick people want to keep me from moving on with my business. So I'm close to dehydration, my body is overheating itself to where I'm soaked in sweat, can't breathe from my nose & all that's on my mind at that point is getting through this cold. I can already hear you, why not get a flu shot Jebus? Why didn't you get a flu shot when it was available Jebus? Why are you an idiot Jebus? BECAUSE IT'S WITHIN MY NATURE TO BE AN IDIOT!!!! When you work all night, sleep all day in this continuous loop of being lost in time, lots of stuff is just pushed aside or forgotten. That flu shot, I regret not getting one when it was too late.
One thing I will say is I'd rather spend money on a pharmacy flu shot than to go to my job's health fair to get free flu shots. Corporate fucks, I know their little game. Tricking people with free flu shots, but in actuality they're injecting people with mind-controlling serums so it can be easier to manipulate the worker in agreeing to the bullshit policies & become servants for the elite. NO THANKS! I don't believe inoculations cause Autism or any of that anti-vaxxer bullshit, but I do believe corporations want to fabricate a consumer worker class incapable of thinking independently.
Being sick really does make simple tasks a huge workout. I got famished easily, not to mention I spent most of my free sick time in bed. That sucked because I was awake for a few hours, went back to sleep then woke up when I should have been sleeping & wanted to sleep when I should be asleep. Good god, the days lasted an hour & two. Being sick sucked.
Picture
​Moving on to hygienic etiquette here...

You know what drives me up the fucking wall?
To all the female readers here (All two of you), you've all have to deal with the issue of 'The Toilet Seat'. Oh yeah, the dreaded stress of the toilet seat. Now I was fortunate enough to be raised in a home mainly made up of women because you learn a thing or two. One of those lessons instilled upon me was the toilet seat. Don't get what I'm saying, guys? Here's a quick lesson: When you go to take a piss, lift the toilet seat. When you're done, put it down. Two steps, that's all. If the seat is up, leave it up. When you're done then you lift it down. That is how you keep your guests happy, not just women but women seem to be victim of accidentally sitting in a toilet seat with piss debris decorated all over the seat. YYYUUUCCK!! Now at my job there's a much greater ratio of men than there are women. Women are a minority at the job I work at, especially in the shift. More women prefer working in the day than at night & it's understandable. Going back here, it's clear many of these guys live alone & have never in their lives shared a space with a woman unless it was their mom & I assume their mom never taught them about the toilet seat.
'Sigh', the many times I'd walk in to the bathroom & always coming across the eyesore that is a piss riddled toilet seat. You fucking disgusting fucks! How fucking hard is it to lift the toilet seat with you boot (Like I do. Never use my hands for that.) & piss into the open toilet? None of us are capable of trick shots, especially us with the foreskins. WHAT IN THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SHOOT YOUR STREAM THROUGH THE SEAT WITHOUT GETTING ANY DROPLETS ON THE SEAT? If you can, I'd actually like to see that. As far as I know none of us are that fucking skilled. I'm sorry this had to be graphic, but this shit truly drives me up the fucking wall.
Oh I'm not done yet, it's gonna get more disgusting with what I'm about to mention here. Hope you're not eating while reading here.Then again, who the hell eats while reading. I would actually like to know.
I've seen bathroom cubicles that haven't been flushed. I've also seen toilets with nothing but brown in there. Oh my fucking fuck, just get your crosshairs on me & take me down already, god. I wanna know whose mom or dad never taught people to flush the toilet ya fucking disgusting pieces of wastes of fucking skin!! I nearly wanted to puke out my intestines when I saw that horrific image. Some of you people out there are fucking disgusting & I for one feel bad for the janitors who come in to clean up the bathrooms & probably have to deal with the laziness of these disgusting assholes on a daily basis.
You know what, new disciplinary rule parents. Mother, teach your boys the toilet seat rule & teach them to flush the toilet. If they don't, threaten them with cutting off their pee pees or their buttholes. Oh yeah, that's not gonna fuck up the mental wellness of a generation.
Men, we gotta be better than this. This is why women live longer.

I'm not done with gross people. You still kept your lunch in?

You know what drives me up the fucking wall?
First time parents. And now I have destroyed what little fanbase I had. Lemme rephrase it, there's a specific type of first time parent out there that just.....I don't know what to call them. These are the types of parents that are a little too over-affectionate towards their kids that it seems logic & common sense are obliterated from their minds because they just love their kids too much. Now nothing wrong with loving your kids, you're supposed to love them! But there are specific things that overly affectionate parents do that make everyone uncomfortable & I don't know if they're trolling all us single people.
Example: There used to be a couple that lived next door back when I lived on the second floor. They had a daughter who was very much adorable. I'm not gonna lie, she was cute as hell & she was so obsessed with Elmo that she looked like elmo. One day me & my friends & the girl's mom were hanging out at the stairs of the apartment, just talking. Well the little girl was eating a tangerine & spent a full minute chewing this bit of tangerine. After a while she spit it out the chewed fruit into her little hand & gave it to her mom. The mom took this regurgitated tangerine & you'd think she would wrap it up in a napkin to toss it into the garbage bin. She puts it in her mouth & swallows it. I wanted to scream!!!! Apparently that's not an isolated incident, remember that stupid movie 'Baby Mama' from the late 2000's? Kid's palms are full of brown smears, mom thinks “This might be chocolate or poop.” & proceeds to lick the kid's palms. “It's chocolate!”
Quit being so gross, parents! Just because kids are supposed to be gross & build up their immune system, doesn't mean you have to be. Stay in your lane.

Now this part is less parents being fully affectionate for their kids & this is just straight up negligence in my opinion. My neighbors, the ones who loved their girl, moved away & her brother & his wife moved in to their room. Those two had a young boy as well, that was a harbinger of bad things to come. So this little boy was a tiny boy with a huge ass head. Looking like a bobble head. He's a two/three year old who loved to run around wearing nothing but a diaper & his head bobbled a little. This kid was seen running around the parking lot (Don't worry, mom was supervising him.) with a sagging diaper. The next day, as I take out the garbage I see the kid again with that same sagging diaper. The third day, sagging diaper, mom smiles like nothing's wrong. Does she not smell the kid? The kid was smelling like aerosol death by this point. The fourth day I walk by their apartment door & their whole living room smells like the kid's diaper. Then after that day the wife comes by the front door with their shirtless kid & a whole roasted chicken as this welcoming present for us. My mom tossed that chicken into the trashcan as she was out of sight because even she confirmed to me that her place smelled like dookie. So at least my nose wasn't playing tricks on me, because that was something I was starting to believe as a lie. At least the gross over affectionate mom knew how to change a diaper.

Before I forget, That last Blogbabble I wrote did piss some people off, specifically the 'I HATE YOU' part. I even added the “Only Star Trek nerds will get that.” disclaimer. I guess only two people know what I was refrencing.
Half of you haven't watched any of the original Star Trek movies & it shows. That was from 'Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home', also known as 'Star Trek: The Whale One'.
To end this, I don't hate y'all....except for that guy with the backwards hat who always likes to watch Mexican soccer. Fuck you mane.


Sadly I do not have a 'This Shit Drives Me Up The Fucking Rainbow' here, well at least one that won't piss a lot of people off. So I won't end it with a song, but with Redd Foxx stating the obvious.


Email: blacktime.epress@aol.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/BlackTimeEPress/
Twitter: (It's now my own personal twitter joint) https://twitter.com/BlacktimeEPress
Site: www.blacktimepress.com
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013

Proudly powered by Weebly