Ladies, Gentlemen & all in between, I present to thee 'Dark Theories'.
Dark Theories is a series where I take a look at family friendly movies, TV (mostly cartoons) & share my own dark, messed up theories about the characters, plot or setting. Now I hope to all that's dear I don't turn this into click-baity crap where the thumbnail includes my face with a shocked expression or a cliched article where I talk about the obvious choices like talking about the trite theory of Caillou dealing with cancer or worse, CREEPYPASTAS. I got no beef with creepypastas or folks who enjoy that stuff, it's just not for me. I can't tell you how many times I've read that creepypasta about the man who buys a VHS tape of 'King of the Hill' that showed a disturbing video of Hank's funeral. This has to be an original voice, everything I say is what I think of. All original ideas I hope haven't been talked about on the internets! …..Oh who am I kidding, I'm pretty sure someone has made these theories before.
On this installment: The Littles.
And no, we're not talking about that sub culture.
To those of you who don't know, 'The Littles' was a series of books about this tiny species of mouse-like human hybrids who inhabit the walls of the 'Bigg' family household. The only human who notices these creatures is Henry Bigg. Get it? Hurrh! Hurh Hurh!
So think of 'The Borrowers', but done as a series of kid's books by which I'm pretty sure can be bought at your school's Scholastic Book Fair along with you Encyclopedia Browns & Beverly Clearly books. These books were then adapted into an animated series by the cheap ass folks at 'DICK Entertainment'.....I mean 'DIC Entertainment'. Among the animation industry at that time, until the mid-2000's, DIC stood for 'Do It Cheap'. Not kidding.
Despite saying this, the animation on the first episode was pretty well done. The animated series made its debut in 1983 on the ABC network for three seasons. According to the Wiki here, the series originated in Canada, France & Japan, therefore 'The Littles' is anime. Not really a stretch if you see clips from the series as the animation sports a suido 80's, Miyazaki look to it. That's not the dark theory though. This series also spawned a limited theatrical feature which did (NO PUN INTENDED) little to no success. The show was re-aired sometime in the mid-2000's when DIC entered the syndication market at around 2004 or 05 with their specialized 1 or 2 hour block which aired weekdays, Saturdays & especially Sundays. That was an interesting treat since many TV stations mainly used Sundays to dump out educational programming, bad religious programming & infomercials. I caught this cartoon in between airings of 'Liberty's Kids' & 'Archies Weird Mysteries' (I'll get to Archie soon). The series was intended for a much younger audience, at the time my younger sister would have been the target demo for this. Why did I still watch this? It was a Saturday, Xena & Hercules have long since been off the air & there would be days when all of my friends would be out doing their things while I was at home doing nothing. Despite telling you guys this, the show had this very unsettling, almost bleak feel to it. I don't know if it's the mix between the music or the dreary grainy visuals of some scenes, but there was always this depressing tone to it I can't really put my finger on. With that in mind there were episodes that tackled some serious issues, like when a girl runs away from home after she receives less than satisfactory grades on her report card. I'll admit, that episode hit close to home. It's on par with that 1st season episode of 'The Simpsons', Bart Gets An F. Then there was the episode where the stupidest character in that whole series (Dinky Little) decides to drink human beer & gets drunk as a skunk. You can already tell that episode was called 'A Little Drunk'. Huurrh! COMEDY GENIUS!
So with a dreary sounding soundtrack, grainy film stock that make the animation look like I'm watching 'Mommy Dearest' & without a hint of knowledge as to the origins of these 'Littles', somehow someway my 12 year old mind couldn't help but to think of bleak theories as to how these littles exist in this world.
God didn't create these littles, they were an experiment from a bunch of scientists playing god. Why else would Dr.Hunter want these littles? Though not clearly stated, it's clear these littles were escapees of an experiment that went wrong. They escaped because they had minds of their own. Then again, they might be aliens that were accidentally left behind when terrestrial lifeforms visited earth. It's the 80's, all answers lead to aliens. They were box office gold!
Have you seen 'The Garbage Pail Kids' movie? Of course you haven't.
Why were they created? Stem cells, but the end result came out (NO PUN INTENDED) a little too small. I don't doubt for a second if these littles were caught, their bodies would be split open with Dr.Hunter & Dr.Peterson's scalpels like frogs in a 1983 Biology class. Thank god I didn't have to deal with dissection in High School. All to see what makes them tick, nobody would be safe. Even the women & children would be cut open.
Although their origins are unclear, it is clear that if the world discovered these littles, the radically greedy & soulless world of Regan era capitalism would ensure that these littles would be sold like Cabbage Patch Kids. Just envision it, a bunch of waspy suburban women & multicolored sweater guys in their 30's bum rushing stores just to get their hands on a little who was either torn apart from their family or bred to be sold. Just think puppy mills, but with littles. OK, that's way too fucking dark, sorry folks. I try not to cross that line but end up doing so. Expect a lot of that throughout 'Dark Theories'.
Lobotomies! Can't let the littles run away from the humans who have bought & paid for their ownership. If our toys had minds of their own (Ignore Toy Story for now), they would run away from us because they will hunger for freedom. Everyone knows the law of economics when it comes to collectibles, when the market is diluted then the brand looses it's power. Littles will be left in resell shops, 99 cent only stores & the local dumps. Abandoned & tossed away because littles are no longer profitable & so they move on to another fad.
Bubbles done burst.
You hear about people using elephant ivory as a drug or an aphrodisiac, what about littles? I doubt these human-like creatures would be spared by witch doctors & the superstitions of (Let's be honest, most of the superstitions derive from places like these) third world countries. Littles ground up in blenders or those Mexican grinder things. Only half of you will know what I'm talking about, they're these grinders made out of rock & they are used to grind up chiles & tomatoes to make some salsa from scratch. I got one at home, it's one of those you can find in any independent Mexican supermarket.
In many of the later episodes it's shown there are more littles living within the walls of the Bigg house. Whether they're all related or not, I don't know. In one episode idiot Dinky Little runs away from home because the attention was taken away from him. Boo hoo, GROW UP! In that episode a woman gives birth to another little, a baby little (If you thought I was going to say “A little baby” & end it with a NO PUN INTENDED. You grow up!). Not only did this show me that littles have reproductive systems (Without being graphic), but it got me to thinking. Do the littles have their own Karma Sutra? Okay, now I'm just being a dirty old man here who laughs at the idea of tail pegging, but I'm also questioning something serious. I'm pretty sure there are more littles out in that world, but does each household wantonly let other littles into their Bigg society home? Do they ask them what job training they had so if they need a blacksmith or an electrician then they are accepted into the home society? Most of what they built up was from scrapped stuff like buttons, coins, stamps, matchboxes & shoeboxes. Being honest here, haven't seen this cartoon series since the mid-2000's so I'm going off memory here, but I think Henry Bigg made all the clothing the littles wear, so Henry meeting the two main littles must have given him thee most awkward boner. Then again maybe I'm miss remembering this, but I felt I saw an episode where Henry found them wearing nothing but leaves, like Adam & Eve. That might be the Mandella Effect talking.
Okay, back to topic, sorry folks. Deviations, it's expected on this blog!
So Do these littles live by a Fallout Shelter system where they only accept those they deem useful & everyone else is either rejected or accepted under the conditions that they will be used for breeding? This also brings me to something I saw in an anime called 'Gurren Lagan'. I'm going by memory here, back when the Sci-Fi channel used to air anime. There was a society of people living underground that when someone gives birth to twins the leader had to banish two people from their society to control the population number. I imagine the littles live by this system, somebody in the society either has to get out of the Bigg home or they gotta die (The latter is mostly reserved for the elderly folks). Over population, it's a threat in real life, a threat in our animations. On the side of populating their society, part of me doesn't want to believe they're not blood related. INCEST FOR ALL!
If incest is a factor in their population, where are the mutated births? I got a feeling the littles live life with eugenics. All that they consider 'inferior' are tossed away into the Bigg household furnace. It's a 1983 household, it's got interior heating. Then there's the darker side of eugenics, the racist view of eugenics. Are there any other race littles? Maybe there were other race littles, but they are in other households & they stay away from the Bigg household because the Bigg littles love to hold KKK meetings.
So that does it for my inaugural installment of 'Dark Theories'.
To be honest, this blog series won't be as consistent as your average blogabble installments, because I gotta think deep & hard about these things. That's what she said. I need to carefully think of shows that nobody would think of in darker terms. I don't want to do what anybody else is thinking. Fan theories are annoying as shit, so what I'm doing isn't fan theories. I'm just trying to get some messed up shit out of my mind. So stay tuned for the next installment of 'FAN THEORIES!'
I'm sorry, I mean 'DARK THEORIES!'
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