Oh shit! Wrong series. That's next week, sorry.
This is a Blogababble Mini & on this installment I'm diving deep into my organic memory banks to tell you about this messed up, annual even I had to experience back in grade school which I'm surprised the school I used to go to still does today. I walked by my old grade school a few weeks ago & noticed on the outside display thing (where they show the events that will take place) showed 'The Multicultural Dance Celebration'. It taught kids less about diversity & more about the upsetting nature of humiliation. This shit wasn't some kindergarten/preschool thing where you only go through it once & that's about it. Nah, this was from PreK all the way to Fifth grade so every year there was dread on that time of the month. I assume it was only dreadful for me, along with all the other fucked up moments in my childhood. The only people who were excited for this were moms, a few of the girls & that one boy who had unrealistic expectations of having a spotlight to himself & dancing like a flexible ballerina. Nuh uh son, you're on drugs. The multicultural dance isn't going to be anywhere near that. If it were then we would of let you guys take one for the team. What's more messed up than putting on costumes that itch, dancing songs that become ear worms after the first recital & that can only be removed by a lobotomy and practicing unhip choreography that makes middle aged white guys look like they have that swagger.
The dances & assigned cultures went by grade, excuse the fuzzy memory on this section here. Preschoolers & Kindergartners had to do the chicken dance. They came out in paper bag vests with paper wings on the hips dancing the chicken dance. It was the starting dance & every time the parents get their 'Awwwww!' moment before the ugly UGLY kids come out so they can ridicule them before they become violent teenagers. I've watched that ABC reality show about the kids who beat up their parents, great stuff! First grade, I can't figure that out if it was the Mexican hat dance or some other dance. I don't know, I can only remember two dances I had to do. Sometimes they would switch it up each year because some teachers would have the power to do that. I remember the special needs kids were able to choose an American song to perform. Just to let everyone know these weren't dances, they were just choreographed gestures that somehow teachers saw as a dance. Teachers is stupid! I wasn't expecting some Cirque Du Solei performance art here, but you couldn't really call what all the kids did as a dance. So the special needs kids danced to 'Pink Floyd's The Wall'. That was pretty interesting there, but from then on all these teachers had shit taste in music, as well as shit taste in diversity or understanding diversity. Oh yeah, to commemorate Mexican culture, La Cucaracha or the Mexican hat dance. I believe one of those two dances were the ones that both 1st graders & 2nd graders had to dance to. I just remember alot of Mexican dancing & that's about it. Not really diverse, but that is until I recently (Yes, my idiot ass just found this out recently) that the Chicken Dance is German. My knowledge of the Chicken Dance came from a 'Polo Loco' commercial, excuse me! All I remember is a ton of Mexican dancing & at the end of it people sold tacos or nachos. For something called 'Multicultural', there wasn't really alot of diversity. Sure, the majority of the school populous was mostly made up of Latinos (Me being one of them), but that's not to say there weren't a few European kids, Asian kids (Whether it be Filipino, Japanese, Korean being the minority).....there should of been at least something that kids would take from all this than just humiliation. Now that I remember, I'm pretty sure third grade got China for their subject of dance. I can't remember what dance or song it was, but I wouldn't be surprised if the kids came out wearing Karate dojo costumes & the song was 'Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting' (Rolls eyes). I still question why wasn't there more of a diverse selection? Mind you, this was the late 90's, early 2000's here, things were getting politically correct, but at the same time some old habits do die slow.
Talking about this reminded me of that skit from 'Mad TV', the Average Asian where Bobby Lee goes into a party & the mostly white attendance think they're not racist by taking a less than subtle interest in his Asian background & here's Bobby Lee just sitting back saying "Guys, I'm just like everyone else. I'm average, my ethnicity is not some high status symbol & my life doesn't revolve around the stereotype (For the most part)." It's satirical, just replace Asian with Mexican & replace a party with a school celebration! I felt the white folks at school were like the people at the party "Look everyone, them speedy gonzalez people!"
To quote Martin Lawrence:
"The Cha Cha Slide is the Ghetto Hokey Pokey."
The choreography was terrible & everyone in school was coming up to all of us from that class & said "That was the stupidest dance I've ever seen."
We weren't denying it. The only way I can describe the dance is it looked like the type of dance people would do if there was a dance hour in a totalitarian society & they had to dance to their fascist leaders.
Oh dear god, Trump better not get any ideas.
This was a perfect example of when the adults (I'm talking ages 29 -40 who don't know any better & always pander to the youth) taking something the kids enjoyed & completely ruining it with their un-hipness. Except in my opinion the Cha-Cha slide was never hip, change my fucking mind. The Cha Cha slide was the cringiest shit from the 2000's, Kidz Bop was more hip than the Cha Cha Slide.
I know, that's messed up, but when you're bored as shit you end up laughing at some of the most fucked up shit right at your disposal. Surprisingly I wasn't one to laugh at the only fat girl or the only male in the dance performance. Yeah, my tweeny offensive ass had to draw the line somewhere. To crush their dreams would be a crime worse than being childishly offensive. Also, male dancers got so much action than we would never get in our lifetimes. So male ballerina dancers are straight up pimps in my book. Also the big girls end up being the most confident about themselves & they end up being those chicks in high school who curve the men before they get curved by men. That's some OG shit right there.
So what did I learn from Diversity Day/Multicultural Dance Celebration? All countries are Mexico, the German Chicken Dance is Mexican, Chinese people are Mexican! The whole world belongs to Mexico.
Thank you grade school for teaching me the skills I need to know when I'm filling my application to work at a porno shop or going out to vote. Mexico is the world superpower.
But in all seriousness, I don't know anyone personally who goes to that school. If I did I would ask if the multicultural dance is still the same from when I was a kid or if it has become more inclusive of other cultures, much more diverse than just Mexico or if there is more educational merit than just learning shit gestures. So hopefully kids are learning more about the world around them & maybe even gaining this love of wanting to exapand their minds via reading books on these other countries or Travelling. Hopefully these kids do get the chance to travel outside America before America becomes public enemy #1 & the whole world wants to wipe America out of the globe, all because of some fucking orange orangutan who bought his way into the white house.
Jibbidy bloo bloo, that's all I got to end this Blogababble Mini.
Next time......A 'You Know What Drives Me Up The Fucking Wall' episode.
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