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Blogababble Mini: Did the teacher just show us porn?

8/27/2016

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In recent months there have been articles out there about teachers showing their students (Most of them taking place in high school) what the district considers ‘Offensive Material’ (Like the instance where the school took action because a kid decided to do his art project on H.R Giger) or just straight up horror films in class. Most of the time this lead to the school firing the teacher or substitute, but the real weird kicker of it is there was an instance where a teacher was showing their class ‘The ABC’s of Death’ & a student complained. You read that right, a student complained that a teacher was showing a movie! The class they were showing it in was in a Spanish Class of all places, but I’m pretty sure they put in the Spanish dub. Oh no, El Freddy Y El Jason no es bueno!!! So a student complained & these aren’t some grade schoolers or preschoolers, but they were fully grown HIGH SCHOOL TEENAGERS!!! I don’t know about you, but if in High School our math teacher told us: “We’re gonna take a day off our studies & watch some ‘Hellraiser’.” I would cry for joy & praise the greek gods. Sure, the film is not for everyone, but who said the screening was mandatory? There have been many a time when teacher would show crappy as hell movies that I’d just zone out with homework or sketching while listening to some ‘Frontline Assembly’ & these were movies that weren’t for any assignment, though there was a time I just had to watch a movie because there was nothing else to do & I was in the mood for masochism. Anyone seen that Disney movie ‘Prom’?  I could have sworn I heard indigenous villages dying when I saw that film, NEVER AGAIN! ’Oh nooo, I wasn’t asked for prom. This is the worst thing to happen in the world.” There are countries that are trying to survive famine you stupid teenage shits!
 Noted, some of these articles (There are more than one instances of teachers getting caught showing these types of films in class) explain that the school staff caught them, but the few examples of students telling on other superiors about watching a horror film (Being offended at the horror) in class brings up a pretty weird fact. We got too many special snowflakes out there that have never stepped out of their comfort zone when it comes to entertainment. If a teacher decides to show a movie, take that as a freaking calling card! Sure, you may not like the movie (in terms of quality or subject matter), but who says you had to watch the movie (Unless it’s some classroom related stuff like ‘Glory’ or ‘Saving Private Ryan’) & have to write down historical observations. But if you’re watching it because either the teacher or substitute are too lazy to teach, then you can pretty much zone out. It takes one special kind of asshole to ruin the golden glory of a movie in class. Then again I’m speaking as an idiot & not as the kid who goes to Sylvan, joins the Key Club & debate team & goes home to read a copy of Dostoyevsky & plays chess with their parents. 
There seems to have been a shift where we as kids wanted to take risks in exposure, whether it be hiding in a basement with a TV & VCR to watch mom & dad’s VHS stash or even listening to music parents didn’t approve of listening, but kids today either are having it too easy with the internet or are being raised with  a hella strict parental block that even blocks stuff like the Cartoon Network website. I’m sure there are still kids out there that are regrouping at a friends house to watch their older sibling’s copy of ‘John Carpenter’s The Thing’, but I feel that kids today aren’t taking risks with their entertainment, especially the ones that grow up to complain about being offended by some horror movie. This can also relate to the kids movies today that are playing it too damn safe. I grew up watching Christopher Lloyd dropping a cute innocent cartoon shoe into a barrel of paint thinner! Remember that in ’Who Framed Roger Rabbit’? That scene was too fucking hardcore!!! Then again you got children being exposed to far more harsher shit than cartoon shoe deaths.  I’m talking harsh shit like footage of beheadings  from AlJahzeera & posting animal torture, that shit is too extreme. The type of risks I perfer fall more in line with sneaking into R-Rated movies & listening to music sporting the ‘Parental Advisory‘ tipper sticker on it. We got less of the secrecy & excitement of taking that risk, which in return is breeding stupid snowflakes like that college student that tried to ban comics in campus because as she quoted (Paraphrasing here) “These comics are pornography & I thought I was going to be reading Batman & Robin in my English literature class.”

True story here, in seventh grade I had a health class that was talking about birth & conception of life like every other school did in that grade. So after learning that, we were shown a film that we thought was just going to be a simple movie showing the genetic formation of birth, nothing to worry about. Then came this weird scene of a huge penis going inside a huge vagina & it was like watching giant people porn. I’m not exaggerating, it was bearing all, no censors or anything, cuts to giant nipples, moving pubic hair & the inside of a vagina (Which mostly reminded of the space shuttle scenes from ‘Innerspace’). I believe it was an early 80’s episode of ‘Nova’. Yeah, back when PBS was fucking hardcore, literally hardcore. 
I tell you, that day on I was very introspective of myself & about life, asking if (I was still kinda religious myself) god gave us the power of reproduction in order to make ourselves feel like a little like god. Then I was asking if the act of reproduction was a mistake, like some guy fell on some woman & uh oh, she pregnant! Then after asking but not solving those questions it just hit me with the ultimate question. Did that teacher just show us porn? In the literal sense we watched uncensored genetalia, the penetration & the moneyshot (Even thought it looked like a very cronenbergian sequence accompanied with foreboding ambient music), so I do believe it was porn. Then again, people would argue that it wasn’t porn because it contained realism to it, it was educational, this wasn’t the case of  the milk man & the repressed housewife (Which is already a joke, milkmen don’t exist anymore. They were exterminated in the milkman war of 1974). Also, the end of that sequence of giant people sex was accompanied with a real footage of a birth procedure. So it’s not porn because a woman gave birth. To all you porn creators reading this (I doubt I have any), if Trump is president & porno is outlawed, put in a scene of the woman or a guy giving birth & it won’t be considered porn anymore! I just saved many a people! Thank you my minions! 
To all you special snowflakes out there, rather than getting off on your soapbox, calling the principal & jailing someone for something you weren’t forced watch like a horror flick, question it or take advantage of it.  If you’re a 17 year old being shown something like ‘Pan’s Labrynth’ & are offended by the Nazi imagery because “Think of the children, Nazis are offensive. They trigger me.” even though they aren’t the proragionists of the film. Then you should cut off your dick, because you’re acting like a wuss.

Short true story here, in my AP English class in senior year, the teacher showed us Pan’s Labrynth & that was the first time I was agitated watching a film I truly enjoy. Why? Because the classroom was full of these idiots who have never in their life watched a horror film & every time they saw something they deemed ‘scary’, they would cry & scream like idiots. The fawn shows up on screen it was all “EEEP!!!” When the small CGI faires showed up it was all “AAAHH!!” Oh, but when the root fetus thing gets burned alive by the asshole Nazi dad, everyone laughs. This generation, I tell ya, has got a screwed up sense of what’s scary.  Me & the teacher were the only ones getting pissed at these valley girl, jock idiots who wouldn’t shut up. If you want something to fuck you up, there was a movie I saw in my Sophomore year that was an Anime on the bombing of Hiroshima. It begins with adorable characters, the when the bombs hit, the whole thing is a fucked up masterpiece I couldn’t turn away (Except for the scene in which a puppy tries to run away from the explosion. I could not for the life of me sit through that sequence). Dead babies, dead moms, that was a fucked up movie. But after leaving class, I questioned the violence & the way it was portrayed. Was the violence really necessary to prove the overall point? 
That’s another thing that pisses me off, people don’t question or have discussions about the subject matter portrayed in entertainment & rather jump on the heavily political Censorship Wagon.

To end it, people need to quit being snowflakes & explore outside your comfort zone when it comes to entertainment (Especially film). If you don’t want to, fine, but don’t go stopping other people from stepping out of theirs. 
To quote John Waters: “Get more out of life, see a fucked up movie.”  
Unless you got a justifiable limit. 
I’m still not going to sit through the uncut versions of ‘Cannibal Holocaust’ or ‘A Serbian Film’. I’ll watch the R-Rated cuts of both those films, but I am in no way going to subject myself to newborn porn & real animal cruelty. Yea, that’s the only sticking thorns for those movies. Even the director of Cannibal Holocaust regrets making the film.
Life is short to stay in the realm of The Waltons & Little House on the Prairie, see weird shit & read dirty books. Unless you find a real snuff film, then report those movie. Those are the movies that should be reported to the FBI, not some movie made by a person who just wants to tell a weird fucked up story.

And to all you snitches who tell on the staff that you watched ‘Finding Nemo’ in class which ends up in the arrest of a cool teacher, eat a shit brick.

Goodday everyone!

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