But before we start getting angry here, let's ease ourselves into this & start with movies that I both love/hate.
-Addams Family Values: Now I don't completely loathe this film because it does have some funny & brilliantly executed moments, but that's just it. The film is the same as the first one, right down to the dated MC Hammer end credits song. It's basically a feature full of skits that were all crammed into an hour & 30 minute film with a pretty generic story. Just like the first film, the story isn't all that well thought of, but at the same time the film's charm, humor & actors/actresses do such a great job at making this film worth the sit. Anjelica Houston & Raul Julia always bring their A-game in even the most bad films they are in!
The biggest flaw that hit me as a kid was when Wednesday Addams & Pugsley Addams know Debbie (Played by Joan Cusack) is out to kill Fester for his money because she's a money grubbing, serial killer widow. They warn Morticia & Gomez that she's marrying Fester for the money without any avail. After many attempts to kill Fester & it's clearly shown that the Addams' are immune to death or pain. There's not really any tension to this story when we know the Addams' are invincible They can't die, Debbie wants to kill everyone in the family, but mostly Fester. Seems kinda pointless, don't you think? Another flaw here, there's the scene where Wednesday & Pugsley are trying to escape camp in order to stop Fester & Debbie's wedding, but then are suddenly stopped by the camp counselors singing Kum-Ba-Ya. Next scene is the wedding, Wednesday & the Jewish nerdy boy at the wedding! Um...how the fuck did they get out of camp if the last we saw of them they were caught by the camp counselors in their attempted escape? Then there's the big issue from the previous film that I briefly described, the film has this brilliant orchestral score, but then the film is plagued by something that plagued many 80's & 90's big studio films, THE TIE IN SONG! MC goddamn HAMMER did the tie in song for the first film, which is then used again for the end credit sequence of the second film. As I recall clearly, there is a scene where the sound editor sprinkled a rap song (Not sure if it was also MC Hammer) in a scene where Morticia & Gomez are riding in their gothic car driven by Lurch (Played by "It is happening again" Carl Struycken). It was so out of place in this film with a brilliant classical score by Marc Shaiman. It's like hearing Wu Tang Clans' 'Tears' in a movie like 'Star Wars'. Big mainstream studio flicks in this era believed that if the film bombed then the soundtrack & all the tie-in merch would make up their earnings. At times the soundtrack would far surpass the actual film, we'll get to that when we get to one film on the Hate list.
I truly enjoy this film. It's funny, the original cast provides no false notes with the characters & I feel Debbie (Played by Joan Cusack) is one of thee most gorgeous, awesome & hilarious femme fatales I've ever seen on film! Her callousness to killing is just so enjoyable, especially the bit with the exploding mansion. Almost all the ladies in my life idolize Debbie. I'm watching my back. I even love the subtle-ish social commentary the film has, believe me it's there. Then there's that awesome Wednesday Addams monologue she gives during the thanksgiving play, that was some woke shit there.
I love it just enough to sit & watch it whenever it's on TV, but I will admit the faults are pretty bad & also this film was the biggest box office bomb of 1993. I could of sworn 'Super Mario Bros' was a bigger bomb.
These are the types of questions you have to think about when watching movies.
-Dragon: A Bruce Lee Story: I know, I know. How could you find issues with this film, Jebus? Aren't you a Jason Scott Lee fan? Don't you like martial arts films? How can you find flaws on a bio-pic based on one of the biggest legends in martial arts history? While the film does show some of the facts as best as they could, most of this film is very much embellished with so much gloss & padding, it comes across as a fluff piece. Look at him fight all these immigrant kitchen staff in a very choreographed sequence! Look at Bruce Lee fight off a bunch of racist navy guys & go off with a lady who just curved her wimpy boyfriend & later on have some 'o' that delicious, but softcore, PG-13 sex! Then there was that whole thing with him fighting that huge demon in Japanese samurai armor. You know Bruce Lee is Chinese, right? Movie studios be like: "Eh! Same thing!" Though that one fight I can excuse since it's a hallucinatory dream sequence. Then there was that one scene where Bruce fights off this one guy in order to continue teaching martial arts to Americans. As a kid I kinda expected a more 'true-er' story without the action. It felt less like a bio-pic & more like one of those Clones of Bruce Lee films. The whole film would of worked if they just sold this as a Bruce Lee clone film. Bruce Lii VS The U.S Navy! Bruce Ly VS Kitchen Workers! Bruce Lei VS The Demon!!! Insensitive, I know but not as insensitive as thinking audiences won't see a bio-pic without spectacle.
While I say this, I won't deny that the action sequences were well done. Especially the fight with Bruce Lee & the demon. It's dark, moody, drenched in rain & that demon is creepy as hell, especially when the spikes protrude out of the mouth guard. Though Jason Scott Lee was a little too bulky & tan to be Bruce Lee, he perfectly captured the spirit & the movement of the actual Bruce Lee, right down the the facial expressions. Sadly the same cannot be said about his fake 'accent' as it drops in & out throughout the film. Despite the fights, the film's facts are decently presented & the racism isn't as sugar coated as it would be now. Though a little fabricated, it does go into the experience Bruce had on his work with 'The Green Hornet'.
I like this film as an action film, but with the facts sprinkled all over it does make it hard for me to take it seriously. For some reason a few years back there was a Bruce Lee TV show from China that aired in one of those offshoot digital independent channels (FilmOn TV. Yup, they had a channel. I'll talk at length about that sometime). I watched a few episodes of it & I have to say that was one of thee worst Bruce Lee 'biopics' I've ever seen. I complained about the flaws in 'Dragon', but this show basically turned Bruce Lee's life into a Telenovela full of sad violin music & not as well done fight choreography. Then you get the whole thing with the show trying to be a period piece, but from time to time someone will be using a cellphone or driving a 80's to late 2000's car in the show. Wow, way to hide the fact that this was shot in the late 2000's guys. But some of you guys would love it, the dubbing is on par with that game 'Shenmue'. You might dig that shit.
"555? That's the fake area code for a phone number in the movies!"
"Everyone knows the bad guy will end up revealing his evil plan when we're tied up!"
"Wait a minute? Sylvester Stallone wasn't in 'The Terminator'!"
Relatability my ass, this kid was a fucking nuisance & I hated him even when I was his age. That's my big & only gripe with this film, the fucking kid won't shut the hell up & if I was in charge of the film this kid would of gotten a brain-sploding headshot at the five minute mark! Fuck that kid & fuck his bowlcut! While this issue isn't the fault of the movie itself, every time I saw this film on TV in full screen, it has some of the cheapest, most terrible looking pan & scan I've ever seen. It felt like that version of the film was recorded off a TV screen via a camcorder & the cameraman just moves it whenever he feels like it, then added image stabilization which looks worse. Felt like I was watching a bad TV movie than a theatrical film.
Not the fault of the film itself, but let's get into the failed marketing of this film. There was the failed NASA rocketship campaign where you paid to put your own personalized message on a rocket ship with the words "Schwarzenegger in LAST ACTION HERO" painted on it. Oh it's that outlandish, I thought the guys at 'Projection Booth' were joking when they said that the film was almost going to be advertised on a manned rocket. First & only question, WHO IN FUCK WERE THEY GOING TO SEND THE MESSAGES TO? And these aren't paper letters, these were recorded messages via telephone that they were sending to space. Yes, space aliens are going to find these messages & listen to some drunk dude talk about ribs & fights at the waffle house. Then there was the inflatable Schwarzenegger which did little to gain interest, even after the World Trade Center bombings. The balloon was taken down, they removed the inflatable sticks of dynamite & replaced it wish a badge.
Now we come to the positive, it has inklings of greatness in there. Schwarzenegger plays the whole thing seriously, despite the annoying as fuck kid. It has it's moments like when Jack fires a shot at an Ice Cream truck, it explodes & an ice cream cone stabs a bad guy in the back of his head.
"Iced that guy! Cold, not frozen."
Then there was that brilliant moment when Jack is in the real world & he thinks action film physics still apply.
Every action scene is just perfect, full of cliches, over the top explosions & the awesome shootouts that modern action films seem to lack. Then you add in a soundtrack by AC (Lightning bolt) DC & you got something that just screams perfection. But it's hard to love those scenes because of that fucking annoying kid who reminds me of that twat from 'Home Improvement' with the bowl haircut. All this to market a demographic of tweens who even hated the idea of the magic ticket.
I just watch the action sequences on YouTube, no use sitting through the kid's dialogue. I wonder if there is a fan edit?
"We're not a remake! We're our own thing, I swear!"
This film is what you would expect from an American remake, it's puts in more violence & more sexuality for fan service rather than to fit the tone & style of the story. There is even a moment where you pretty much figure out all the changes are for exploitative reasons. One of them is the scene when Niki...I mean Nina gets strapped to a chair for the lethal injections & she starts pissing in her medical robe out of fear. I don't know about you guys, but whenever I see a woman urinate in fear that always takes the fun out of a movie. I'm gonna sound weird & hypocritical here, but it's funnier when it happens to a man than when it happens to women. I was watching 'Mad Bull 44', an over the top gory anime about this skinny wimpy cop who is paired up with this burly big guy who kills anything that movies & has sex with anything that has a vagina. Well there is a scene in the first episode where these masked roller blading criminals run off with stolen money, they hold a lady at gunpoint. Up until that point I was having fun with the anime, then this lady starts crying & urinating & that just made me depressed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that just says the guy who created this doesn't have a fetish for water sports, but legit hates women. That's what it looks like, some angry guy behind the camera whispering "Piss on your pants ya filthy fucking whore!"
'Sigh'. Dark, I know. That's where I live.
This film is what it is & of course I'll say I prefer the original 1990 French film. Aside from its problems, I gotta say this American remake is one of those flicks where it's worth the watch on a dull day or just to see as an example of how Hollywood alters foreign properties to their liking. The worst crime a film can be is boring. I won't say it's a horribly made film, it's got some cool shootout sequences, more action sequences than Besson's version which is one of the advantages the remake has over the original. Also the film does have some neat alterations, like the scene where Nik...damn it! I mean, when Nina dresses up as a maid to hide a bug in this one guy's hotel room. Well in the French version Nikita hides a bug in the room & it's pretty suspenseful, that's all. In this film it does take that same approach & we're just left there thinking "This is just like the original. Nothing fresh." So then Nina steps out of the building, goes into her car thinking 'Thank god, this shit is done for now." The hotel building suddenly explodes. I just love that brillant twist. I also have to commend the casting of this film, you got Bridgette Fonda looking cute as hell with her short bob french girl hair. Gabriel Byrne playing the role Tcheky Kayro played in the original, renamed as simply Bob & then you get the additional character of the man who operates the whole secret agency, Kaufman played by awesome scumbag & great actor (Rest in piece) Miguel Ferrer. Then you get the character of 'The Cleaner', originally played by another great actor Jean Reno, now played by Harvey Fucking Keitel! I actually liked the way this cleaner was portrayed. Keitel's version of The Cleaner was much more sly, much more blue collar-like & more ruthless. I also must include that this film has some beautiful cinematography. Though it's no Luc Besson, I think this version manages to be stylish & well made, but also there are moments that make it feel like a TV movie from the 90's. Great editing, great sound design, but the soundtrack is something that keeps me from fully appreciating this film as a stand alone film. We go from the brilliant, jazzy & 90's electronic synthesizer sounds of Eric Sera to this almost made for TV movie temp music.
This is one where I both love the good things & hate the bad things of this film. If you've seen this film first & have never seen the original 1990 French film, I would love to hear your thoughts on this flick & the original.
In my opinion this is not a good film, but it's not the worst thing ever made. Sure, it doesn't really do anything new & it was done more as a shameless cash in/Americanization of this already perfect foreign film, but in a way it's wonderful cheese to entertain you on a boring Saturday afternoon.
I recommend it, only if you hate French films, but even then 'La Femme Nikita' isn't your atypical French film. So I'll just recommend the orignal, then you can watch the American cheese.
Then there's the deal with that one scene where Laura Dern turns on the generators & a hand lands on her shoulder, only it's a severed hand (Of all the people it could of killed, it killed Sam L!). How in fuck do these raptors run around, eat other dinosaurs, act like typical animals but on that scene it's like the two raptors decided "Hey man, have you seen 'Blue Velvet'? Dude, this chick has the funniest grimace in the history of film. Watch, lemme horrify her with Samuel L. Jackson's arm."
That's the only explanation I'd believe. Then there's the scene where you think Sam Neil's character shot at the raptors, but he just shot the windows. Oh fuck this whole "Preserve teh animals!" greenpeace bullshit. They're dinosaurs, fuck them, toss 'em all into an active volcano, except the long neck herbivores. They're funny looking!
Then you get the constant references being shoved down my throat everywhere, not the film's fault but that's something that annoys me about toxic pop culture. I'll get into that some other time, but I'm sick of people always quoting 'Clever girl' in the fake Aussie accent or hearing that goddamn theme song. The first time was great, the second time was okay, after the third time that song becomes an ear worm & the next films (Lost World, 3, Jurassic World & that recent sequel) all play that same fucking theme song! I don't care if the new films have a more piano remix to it, it's still annoying! Try some new fucking John Williams music & not just a rendition of the theme song!! Or better yet do what Star Wars does, play more of the in between music that plays throughout the films.
I don't have this vitriolic hate for this film, but this is a film that (To me) lost all its charm in terms of story. The plot holes & characters are what cause me to avoid rewatching this film. Of course all the characters are going to be safe by the end of this flick, it's a Spielberg flick. Maybe if it ended the way it was originally meant to end I would love it, where everyone dies because the dinosaurs shall inherit the earth.
I do have to commend Spielberg for his hard work in this. He made two movies around the same time, Jurassic Park & Schindler's list. He must of been pulling some serious all-nighters to get those two films done. I love the CGI, the action is great, the film has some beautifully artistic frames like when Sam Neil & the kids awake up on that giant tree branch as we see this gorgeous landscape shot of a forest before a rising sun with all these dinosaurs eating their daily breakfast. I love that shot!
So save those effigies for when I go nuts & turn into a Mexican Nazi, I don't hate this film fully, its story doesn't hold up anymore & neither do the sequels, too many plot holes. Maybe in another two decades or so I'll revisit it & enjoy it again, but for now this flick has a ton of things that bug me at the moment.
Now let's get to the manipulation. So Robin Williams gets a divorce, can't see his kids so he dresses up as a woman to get with his kids. He's breaking the law! I can't remember if at the court scene he looses or wins the case. Either way, he should be sent to butt sex prison, well not that but he should get sent to County Jail for a month or so. Then there's Mrs.Doubtfire's thing with Sally Field's riding with a Pre-James Bond Pierce Brosnan. So Robin Williams as Mrs.Doubtfire messes with him intentionally. Like Bro, she divorced you, she's gonna move on sooner or later! But if I were Pierce Brosnan I'd ditch Sally Field as well.....unless she can still work that 'Flying Nun' outfit. Did you know cynical Science Fiction writer 'Harlan Ellison' once took a job script writing for 'The Flying Nun'? It wasn't because he thought the show was groundbreaking or anything, he just had a hard on for Sally Field. True story.
Despite my hate for this film, I must admit I did have good memories with this film. There was that scene where the boy finds Mrs.Doubtfire peeing the other way (you know which way). I remember always quoting with my older sister "He's a she she!" and she altered it by saying "She's a chi chi!"
And now, Le Hate! Spread some hate on this broke ass cracker.
It's one of those movies where the main character is an asshole & one of the characters knows this but nobody believes them. Then something bad happens to where the asshole character runs away or something & sadly the good character has to 'learn a lesson' because everyone is under some kinda mind control. Once again we're back to manipulating the audience. Did I forget to mention that 'Saved By The Bell' had its season finale in 1993? I guess middle America couldn't let go of their asshole main characters.
Mr.Wilson is the victim!
I hate this film. Loved it as a kid, watched it on ABC way back when in the late 90's, now I hate it & I cannot find any redeemable quality in there. Well maybe the casting of the mom, dad & Mr.Wilson were on point, but Dennis is an asshole. This is one of those titles where the Straight To Video sequel 'Dennis The Menace Strikes Again' is way better than that first film. For starters the kid isn't an asshole. If you got kids & are looking for a film to keep them occupied while you're busy washing dishes or sleeping with the neighbor's husband, then this is the film for you!
Again, dark, I know. It's where I live.
Multiculturalism, because all bases gotta be hit.
It was lame in my opinion, but it was because it was a Sister Act movie. The only person bringing in a performance was Whoopi, everyone else was in a different movie. I remember most of the humor being not as good as it was in the first flick. If was a letdown, even for me as a kid since KTLA loved to air the first film, the the next saturday night they would air the sequel. It's also a shame 'Bill Duke' directed this flick. Yes! THEEE BIll fucking DUKE!
Now for this next flick I don't feel bad putting this next film on my hate list.
It had good concepts, these half human, half robot yakuza assassins were pretty badass. Aside from that good idea, you get another bad idea, Splatterpunks. Oh good god, the Splatterpunks are such a cheesey & stupid idea. Oh them punks are up to no good, are you guys stuck in 1984 or something?
Just to let you guys know, this film was shelved for a year before it was released, so originally it was meant to be released in 1992. Orion Pictures went down under in the mid 90's until recently when a few movies I spotlighted in my '2018 Movies' entry had the Orion logo on them. Pretty interesting stuff there.
It's like watching an hour & 30 minute demo reel of Mike Myers dressing up as various characters & doing British & Scottish accents. It's weird considering he's CANADIAN! Add in one of those 'Nobody believes me' stories & what you get is 'So I Married an Axe Murderer'. The soundtrack, if I'm remembering correctly, is full of music that reminds me of 'Slowdive'.
(One google search later)
It's not Slowdive, but it is full of 90's Hipster music. This just smells of Mike Myers trying to tap into that Generation X audience that thinks they can make money off art. All that is summed up in the character Myers plays, a multi-media poet. What kinda universe is this where poets earn tons of cash & are on all types of media? Because that sounds like a universe I would love to live in & make money writing! Even the greats like Gore Vidal & Harlan Ellison would kill to live in a world like that. The way he presents that character is on par with the way Ben Stiller portrays the slacker generation with 'Reality Bites', a movie I would easily put on this list if I were born in 1994.
I don't hate Mike Myers, apparently right now he's the host of the new 'Gong Show' reboot on ABC & he managed to get the job under disguise as some fake British guy nobody has ever heard of. Again with the British accent, what's up with him & Britain?
Shagadellic. I'm not a fan of this flick, yet I can still watch Austin Powers for some reason.
and now for the final film in this hate list!
-Sliver: What was up with the 90's & this constant need to watch Sharon Stone get raped? Seriously! She's abused to hell in 'Total Recall', then there was that movie 'Scissors' where almost every male in that fucking movie wanted to stick his Vienna Spam links into Sharon Stone's VHS Clam shell! That movie sucks as well. Then this movie comes out & it sucked as well. Script by Joe Esterhaus, the man behind such feminist classics as 'Basic Instinct' and 'Showgirls'. Hey, it's better than this flick. As I can recall this film is about Sharon Stone moving into this high rise building, meeting a cast of weird characters, finding out she's being watched, hooks up with one of the Baldwins who built this high rise building as well as designs video games & then eventually tells her he likes to watch everyone via hidden security cameras because he's a voyeur & she herself is a bit of a voyeur as well so SEX TIME! It's a movie that tries too hard to be erotic & thrilling, two things it lacks. On a downer note this film nearly killed a camera crew when they wanted to grab a shot of an active volcano. Luckily the crew did survive. But think, a camera crew could of died on the filming of 'Sliver', all for a shot of a volcano that may or may not of had anything to do with the end product. That's pretty sad.
The thing about this film is it's based on a novel which I read thinking it would be a better book than a film. I WAS WRONG! The only thing I'll give this film is it has an awesome soundtrack, specifically the song by 'Lords of Acid'. Very sexual 90's rave music. Skip the flick, get the soundtrack if you're into 90's house music.
That does it for the hate list, but I'm not done yet. What we have coming now are the honorable mentions. I was shocked to see that in 1993 there were so many films I either saw a while back, or have not gotten around to seeing. I'll go by these quickly.
-Schindler's List: As stated before, this film was released the same year as 'Jurassic Park' by Spielberg. This is one where I haven't seen it in such a long while & probably won't for another while because this is a depressing as hell film. It's one of those I highly recommend kids watch. Hey, it's what a substitute teacher told me back when I was in second grade.
and on this year came two Disney 'Cult' films, well one is a cult film & the other is pretty popular enough now.
-Hocus Pocus: I watched the hell out of this flick back in my childhood. KTLA aired the hell out of it on Halloween weekend or the weekend before Halloween week. Now that tradition has moved on to 'Freeform' (Formerly Disney Family).
This movie contains 'Ugly' witches, but of all the witches in this flick, Sarah Jessica Parker looked less like a horse face in this. Also starring Bette Middler & the lady who voiced Peggy in 'King of the Hill', Kathy Najimy. I can see why all you people love this flick, it's pretty dark & of course this is a cult hit. Didn't find its audience until TV & Video. I do need to get to this again, such fond memories watching this flick.
Then we get another Disney flick that fits a double bill with 'Hocus Pocus'....
-A Nightmare Before Christmas: Luckily this is one I am going to get to next month. I have the original Clam shell VHS release. As a kid the visual creeped me the fuck out, I won't deny this. Ever since then I was kinda holding the film off. It's everywhere now, Hot Topic embraced Burton like a fucking deity, then when that brought in the big bucks Disney just came out of nowhere & said "Oh, it's profitable. Let's now do Halloween-town (Or is it Halloween-day? I don't know) at Diz-nee-land where they turn everything into Jack Skellington for no reason other than all of upper class America gobbles it down.
Still, I'm gonna check this film out seeing as Halloween is the shiznit. Need to get into the season, assuming if I don't go to work on Halloween night.
-A Bronx Tale: It's a Scorsese film, Robert DeNiro plays a bus driver in the Bronx sometime in the 50's when his son falls for a black girl & everyone (Except DeNiro) is a racist fuck. I remember it being an okay movie when I saw it once. I don't know if it holds up or not. It's not as talked about much as it is 'Goodfellas' or 'Casino'. That's one I remember not being bad.Will have to check it out.
-Blood In, Blood Out: This is one where I've only caught scenes of this film & all those internet memes where the dude says "I want some chon chon!" For some reason my older sister was in a cholo kick back when she was a teen. She would watch this, 'American Me' & even though this isn't a cholo film she would even watch 'American History X' because she thought blad Edward Norton was like a white guy cholo. Ohhhhh she was dead ass wrong!
This is one I do need to see from beginning to end. But I will not watch 'Mi Familia', depressing as fuck shit! Hits waaay too close to home.
This is one of those questions that has yet to be answered but won't mainly because the actor 'Ralph Waite' passed away in 2014. Maybe it was because he was thinking about Laura Dern's grimace.
-Arizona Dreams: Jhonny Depp in a weird art film that Roger Ebert said was the worst film ever made.........I WANNA SEE THIS! I saw the trailer & all it tells me is there's a CGI fish floating on the desert. Now this one is a cluster fuck of releases. IMDB says it was released in 1993, google says it was released in 1992. Both google & Roger Ebert say it was released in 1995. WHAT YEAR?
-A Perfect World: This one's a Clint Eastwood movie, saw it a loooong while back. All I remember is it was a pretty sad film. I went into it thinking it was going to be this adventure with this kid in a Casper costume & his dad going cross country commiting crimes all around the nation. Think 'Natural Born Killers' but with a father & son. Oh wait, it wasn't his son but a kidnapped kid. Sorry guys, my mistake.
It's more drama that action, so I'm kinda curious to check this flick out again.
-Fire in the Sky: I have never been able to watch this film all the way through when I was a kid. That fucking UFO scene where the dude gets inspected by the aliens freaked me the hell out! Of course around this time I was a UFO alien conspiracy nut, watching shows like 'Unexplained Mysteries' and catching 'X-Files' reruns, so this film more than creeped me the hell out. I'm curious to check this one out as well.
Funny fact: Michael Ironside still has children coming up to him in public & asking why he wanted to kill Willy. That's jut freaking hilarious.
-Jason Goes To Hell: Yup, this crap came out my birth year. I'm better off watching the video reviews of this flick than actually watching the whole film. Cinema Snob video was hilairous.
Haven't seen the whole thing, all I can remember was 2Pac & crew crashing a family reunion & when one of that family asks if they're related, one of the guys says "We all family, we black!"
I need to check that whole film out.
-Boxing Helena: I really need to check this flick out. David Lynch's daughter directed this piece!
-Nowhere To Run: I remember this film being much more drama than action & because of that I dismissed it as a kid. The beginning scene would be action packed & intense, then after that there would be alot of talking & yelling. Then again I was a kid & couldn't stand when there wasn't an action scene every second. From what I can remember this film is about Jean Claude Van Damme as an escaped convict who ends up in this farm with this single mom & her two kids. But then these big baaaad corporate peoples want to own this woman's farm land for their mini-malls 'n' shit like that. It's up to JCVD to stop these corporate suits from taking over the small town, one roundhouse at a time! If this isn't the Mandella effect biting me in the ass once again, I remember most of Van Damme's dialogue being dubbed over. I don't know if this was in a TV cut, but I remember hearing Van Damme sounding very American, as opposed to his very thick French accent.
This is one I do want to check out again & see if it's really as bad as I thought it was when I was a kid.
If this film were made today, that woman would of died from getting her ass ate. What a filthy decade we live in.
Alright, move nerd argument time!
Who had the best ink, Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa or Viggo Mortensen?
Email me the answers at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Who's got the better ink?
-Sniper: I remember this being pretty solid. Nothing grand, nothing crazy or over the top. It was a solid action film about Tom Berenger teaching Billy Zane to snipe. It was cool. I recommend it if you're into military style action.
-Undercover Blues: I remember finding this film kinda funny. I believe I was writing 'He Came Tumbling Over' around the time I saw this film & thought "Imagine if Agatha & Pasquel had a baby & this is how they went about life as being parents?"
I thought it was funny how both Dennis Quaid & Kathleen Turner (Pre face melted) reacted to these attempted assassinations on the baby. This is one where I will have to rewatch to see if it has any flaws or if there was something I missed. I won't say it's bad, but there's a 99% chance I will say it's better than those goddamn 'Look Who's Talking' movies. Which reminds me, should of put the third sequel to 'Look Who's Talking' in this list, but I never seen it, nor do I wish to see it & it seems like I'm picking on the special needs child for putting that on the hate list. They're not for me, but my sisters & mom love the hell out of those movies. So to that third 'LWT' movie, you've been spared.
-Ghost in the Machine: This is one I really want to check out again. From what I can remember this flick is so over the top & cheesy, it's enjoyable as a B-movie horror flick. A serial killer stalks families & murders them, then on his way to kill Karen Allen he dies in a car crash & his soul goes into electricity & travels to pieces of technology via electrical systems. Sooooo much early 90's computers & floppy discs. LGR should do a movie review on this flick. Now he's stalking & killing anyone in Karen Allen's E-address book.
I remember the kills being pretty cool, especially when the dude goes to the bathroom to wash his hands & the hand dryer sets him on fire. Pretty cheesy, but cool horror film. Also gotta give the director props for killing children in the first few minutes. We need more dead children in movies.
-The two 'Blue' movies: There are two unrelated films called 'Blue' that came out this year from the same year.
One is the film where all you see is a blue screen which was directed by Darek Jarman about aids. This film's story is told by dialogue & the way the performances bring out specific emotions.
The other film is called 'Trois Coulers: Bleu' starring Julliette Binoche which doesn't have a blue screen & you get to see what's going on. I want to check out both movies in all seriousness.
-American Cyborg: Steel Warrior: I'm assuming this film is what Hideo Kojima took for 'Death Stranding'. A woman running around a post apocalyptic world carrying a fetus in a glass container in her backpack, but she's being chased by a cyborg who wants to kill the last baby on earth. It's one of the later 'Cannon' films before their eventual demise.
-Sailor Moon R The Movie: The Promise of the Rose: This one is a mention, it came out in 1993. Just want to get that female demographic in the know. Ah yes, the 'Blogababble' female audience made up of one person who may or may not exist. None of the women in my life care about this crap.
On that same token you also got
-DragonBall Z: Broly- The Legendary Super Saiyan: I've only seen two of the DBZ movies in my lifetime, one of them being 'The History of Trunks' & one where Gohan as a kid gets kidnapped by a clown looking guy. It's a hazy memory, I rented it from the library. I do need to catch up on my DBZ movies. I am in no way motivated to watch 'DragonBall Super', sadly.
-Battle Angel Alita: This one's a brief mention because I'm not sure if it was theatrical in its native Japan or not. You would be surprised with what anime movies were theatrically released in Japan in that golden age. They got away with 50 minute movies over there, as opposed to America where all movies seem to be 2 hours & 30 minutes. The original 'Battle Angel Alita' film is a fucking masterpiece. The action sequences are on par with 'Ninja Scroll'.
Ninja Scroll: Holy shit! Ninja Scroll came out this year as well. Sadly I have not seen that flick. I had a chance, but my dumbass self had to get a copy of 'Ghost in the Shell' and 'Blood: The Last Vampire' on UMD (Remember that old format?). I left that copy of Ninja Scroll & I still regret it. Damn me & my broke ass tendencies!
-Falling Down: Everyone tells me to see this, only caught a few scenes, that is all. The burger scene & the ending, that's all. I need to see this.
-Menace II Society: I lost all street cred by saying this, I haven't seen this flick.
-What's Eating Gilbert Grape: I'm told a young Leo DiCaprio steals the whole movie.
-Dazed & Confused: Eh, potheads doing pothead things, that's all I remember. It's Linklater, of course there's no plot.
-Short Cuts: I remember catching a review of this in a book that collected many of the writings from critics that were published in the LA Times. I'm not just trying to find this film, but also looking for that book. This film looks right up my alley.
-Surf Ninjas: It's goofy camp. Leslie Nielsen is the villain, these kids go to Hawaii or some Asian Polynesian country & teach the villagers to surf just so they can overthrow this evil regime. It's goofy fun & critics like 'Nostalgia Critic' took it too seriously. In no way is it a good film, it's problematic, but it's far from boring.
-Cyborg 2: Glass Shadow: An early Angelina Jolie role. Yes, her early role was for a sequel of a film that was a huge flop. I remember this sequel being alright, it's one of those 'in-name only' sequels where the only thing connecting this to the orignal Jean Claude Van Damme 'Cyborg' movie is the fact that it has cyborgs in it. Nothing bad, but alright. May need to check it out again.
-The Dark Half: George Romero does Stephen King. Haven't seen it, but it's advertised on all the early 'DC Vertigo' comics in my collection.
-Trauma: An Argento film I still need to check out.
-We're Back: A Dinosaur's Tale: I remembered this being odd. Not because of the dinosaurs or the fact that Nancy Cartwright does Lisa Simpson voice with a different character, but this film's villain with the top hat was weird. That was some fucking weird shit I saw. Can't explain it, other than it's weird.
-Loaded Weapon 1: Parody of 'Lethal Weapon' I have yet to see the rest of.
-Freaked: That's on my DVR right now.
-Bad Boy Bubby: A weird movie I've been told nothing but good things about.
-Army of One: The Dolph Lundgren film where he drives around in a Ferrari shooting bad guys with an uzi. I need to watch that one all the way through.
-Cannibal! The Musical: Trey Parker & Matt Stone's first directorial debut!
-Carnosaur: Want to watch Laura Dern's mom give birth to a dinosaur? This is the film for you!
-Alive: I saw a bit of this on cable recently. It looks baaaad, but I will say the scene when the plane starts tearing itself apart was awesome! People are flying out of the plane, people inside are either being torn or crushed by the airplane seats. That's the only scene worth watching. It's a remake of a Rene Cardona Jr film. This is another one of those Hollywood Whitewashing movies where they chose to hire Americans to play foreign actors. I'll believe Ethan Hawk is from Uruguay when pigs start growing wings & flying!
-TC 2000: It tried to be like 'Cyborg'. I need to see this one again.
-Ernest Rides Again: It's Ernest, what can I say. Gotta revisit all of those movies!
-Cyborg Cop: Man, in 93 we must of really thought Cyborgs were that hip cool new thing.
-Zombie Bloodbath: Both of them Todd Sheets, shot on VHS masterpieces!
-Liar Liar: Between Father & Daughter: A TV movie, I had to add this one in there just because of the title.
-American Yakuza: I caught chunks of this flick not too long ago. I wonder if Viggo Mortensen fights naked in this one as well?
-Coffee & Cigarettes III: The Jim Jarmusch movie.
-Cronos: An early Guillmero Del Toro film that I desperately need to see.
-Nine Inch Nails: Broken: A straight to video music video compilation with a plot! I need to see this! If I'm lucky, I'll probably find it at a thrift shop.
-The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb: This one is all done in half live action & half claymation. Need to check it out & for some reason this flick was both co-funded & released by 'Manga Entertainment'. Yeah, this animated stop motion British movie was released by an anime company.
Before I go, I should breeze by my favorite flicks of if I was a born a year older.
1992, only two flicks are on my mind from that year are...
-Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.
If I was born a year later, the flicks would be...
-Street Fighter: Bite my ass, I love that flick.
-Natural Born Killers
and of course I can't ignore the biggest tent-pole movie of 94...
This was a neat challenge for me to do which took up most of my free time & I'm betting this will take me a while to edit. I challenge you guys to do the same, take a look at the year you were born, check out the titles of when the films were released in that year & see if your birth year has films you either enjoyed or hated.
So until next time, I got no clue what's going to happen next. All I know is I will be partaking in an upcoming project & there will be a ton of Blogababble Minis.
Check out some of the films I hyped on here, especially the Hong Kong movies.
Twitter: (It's now my own personal twitter joint) https://twitter.com/BlacktimeEPress