This week I have no news to tell, mainly because it hasn’t happened & I hope will never happen because things are tough all over. For now I’m going to say a few things I should have said in previous entries, & then I’ll get to today’s topic.
So a few weeks ago I talked about health & one thing I forgot to talk about is the bullshit that is the debate on Medical Marijuana. An herb that hasn’t killed anyone (yet) is getting the hate from these old people that thought ‘Reefer Madness’ was a real account of people who have smoked pot. Just to go off topic, I watched that recently & as a straight edge guy, I could even smell the bullshit of this film. Seriously, pot makes people into derange killers with an uncontrollable dick that will do anything with a pulse. Hahahah, those guys must’ve been high on cocaine. It was the 30’s, they could get their hands on cocaine, ahhh 1930‘s America where weed is dangerous, but cocaine is the bees knees. So this whole ‘Marihuana is bad’ chant is getting old, more & more cities are legalizing it & guess what you baby boomer racist fucks, crime rates are dropping! Then again I don’t agree with the whole “We gonna get high off dis shit if we mix our pot with wax.” shit that all these L.A teens are doing & end up getting burned. There’s a trend that kids would get pot & then add in chemicals from DW-40 oil (The stuff you put on door hinges to make it stop squeaking) & these would be elaborate set ups to mold the oil into the pot & create this wax. What end up happening is these kids would get heavily burned alive due to a little mistake or getting their brains fucked up. And that’s one of the reasons why these ‘Drug War, shaved head, fitness shades wearing, Aryan Nazi’ looking fuckers always have a say in talking about drugs, because a few cholo assholes decided “Man, my weed is too damp, better put elephant anus in my joint so I can get high off my supply!” I understand the whole necessity of trying to keep people from & selling the harsh drugs like ‘Nuke’. Oh, sorry everyone, Nuke doesn’t exist, the drug from Robocop-2. But seriously, all marihuana does is make people stupid & calm & have a low ass sex drive, it’s better than the shit ‘Pfizer’ comes up with. Every time I’m watching an episode of ‘Adventures of Superman’ on TV, there’s always these settlement commercials for people who have been taking prescription medications. The ones that astound me the most are the ones that say “If you have been taking (Insert medicine name here) & have experienced loss of sight, vomiting, diahrea or death. Please call this number.”
AND DEATH! Jesus fucking H.R Puff ‘n’ Stuffed Oreos Christ!!!!
This is why I’m all for legalizing weed, because there are benefits to it & sure, the cons of weed are bad, but they aren’t horrible like the shit the drug companies are providing. Too many good people being sent to rapist prison for selling small baggies of pot & a ton of good people dying because some asshole man in a semen suit decided “Takes to long for the FDA to get my drugs checked, better sell it anyway & find out if it’s safe. A man died? Give ‘em 200 dollars, that’ll shut their cunts up.”
Yeah, sickening right? And this ain’t cyberpunk fiction, this is real life!!!
Another thing I wanted to talk about was the state of the medical system in this country. There’s a reason why people travel up north or down south just for a checkup. Cheaper, with better results. I’m not going to pile the blame towards community clinics (My problem with community clinics are they‘re too damn crowded & appointments are hell), but most of the clinics are just cash cows, making a living off the disease you might have. I see this as a sickening way the system sucks money out of someone before they croak. I’m seeing this a lot, this along with the doctors not being doctors but seeing ’em as Pharmaceutical salesmen. Sure, any doctor can tell you that you have to take & spend cash on these pills to ail you, but it takes a fucking asshole to pretty much pimp out Pfizer & all those horrid pills. And of course what’s a better way to boost those fucking sales than ‘OBAMA CARE’!!! There needs to be a change here, a change that would prevent all of us from chewing their pills & dying young as they snort our money in those political fat cat cocaine parties.
I think that’s all I want to talk about, it’s been itching my brain for the past week & when I got something to say, I need to say it. Not only that but I don’t say everything, I keep some things secret, I’m not a drama whore, unlike SOME people I see on these social media sites. Seriously, the government is listening/ reading. Hey government, why don’t you like or comment on my Blogababbles? You’re no fun.
This coming topic I’m not going to be a as angry as I was on the upcoming films, this week I’m going to focused on a little thing you’re all too common towards or had no clue existed. The After School Special, a few of us in my generation have been exposed to the After School Special in school or in the few television markets that still aired them in the late 90’s. They were 50 minute or 47 minute short educational films that began in the 70’s & ended in the 90’s (or early 2000‘s). This is my opinion but the After School Special films that were made in the 70’s aren’t my favorite, mainly because of the writing of the subject matter. The after school specials of the 70’s dealt with stuff that any kid with a functioning brain could solve in a matter of seconds. They’re always the “My body is undergoing changes! WHY AM I GROWING HAIR DOWN THERE?” I’m not a fan of that era of After School Specials. So the 70’s are where it began & remembered by the youth of that generation. No, wait! Excuse me, they technically began in the 50’s as those Instructional Videos that have been parodied by everyone. These are the videos that were screened in schools in film reels so the youth could learn proper etiquette. “Little Johnny is gay, how can you tell? He bleeds green.” You know, those videos that have been riffed on ‘MST3K’ & paid for by none other than the U.S Government. Those instructional videos are technically the original ‘After School Specials’ & then ran into the 70’s, then Television studios decided to take advantage of the televised medium. The 1980’s, not only is this my favorite era of the After School Special, that’s when the social issues of the 80’s began to be allowed to be talked about & were also targeted to high schoolers, whereas the 70’s were talking only to grade school & middle schoolers. The filmmakers & writers of these things saw the floodgate open & decided to talk to the viewer with intelligence. You started seeing more social issues that kids were experiencing. Sure, every kid is worried about grades, but it’s always the same “Just study harder” moral, but what about the kids that have an alcoholic father or a drug abusing mother. This was the era of ignorance, Regan was in office & that didn’t help anything, it was the peak of the Cold War, Crack hit the ghetto like a tidal wave & we started seeing the gap between poor & rich widen. This was a gold mine for these writers & directors, and they weren’t sweeping anything under the rug.
I saw a bunch of these recently & I was floured by how well written they were. They didn’t spare anything & they weren’t melodramatic as you would think. Also they weren’t preachy as you’d think, sure these films brought awareness to the issue, but they didn’t post the phone numbers to the suicide hotline in the middle of the films like cheap product placement. Some of the issues that were dealt with in these films are still relevant today, all form Teen pregnancy to Alcohol abuse & Suicide, all except for a film titled “My Mother The Dissident’ about a mom who preaches against nuclear weapons. Nowadays that mom would be preaching about the dangers of ‘Evolution’ & teaching it to kids.
I’ve concocted a list of some of the best & worst after school specials I’ve come across through YouTube. I’m not ranking them, I’m just going to list some of these films & give my thoughts on them.
-What if I’m Gay? (1987): The film follows a high school quarterback who’s respected by everyone, including his parents, has a girlfriend & is living a good life. Well, that’s what everyone thinks, but he’s living the struggle of being secretly gay. This film did not try to copy the plot of every other ‘teen gay’ film, but did it’s own thing as to actually giving you a surprise twist in the first 20 minutes of the film. I recommend it & as a funny thing I thought the main character was ‘Kyle McLauchlan’ because he looked like him. It’s not him. All this time I’ve been preaching “Kyle McLauchlan played a gay dude!” & it wasn’t him.
-An Enemy Among Us (1987): Aids was the big issue in the 80’s & of course how do you deal with Aids in film by having a teen with aids & being treated like a monster by old coots who still called it the ‘Fag Cancer’. The film takes a unique approach by having our main character get aids through a bad blood transfusion, after a serious bike accident.
The film not only deals with the personal & relationship deficiency that comes with the virus, it also deals with the media & how they always blow things out of proportion. ’An Enemy Among Us’ is one that kinda withstood the test of time, but still feels outdated with the public’s knowledge of the aids virus. Nowadays there’s still the misinformation of it being called the Gay Cancer, but it’s become much more aware & being taught to the youth.
-Hear Me Cry (1984): Suicide & Anxiety are still common issues in our society today & this film luckily doesn’t take the melodramatic take on the subject. A popular jock & an honor roll student befriend each other & both share their disdain for their lives & have an affection towards a bedtime story. Like I said before the film isn’t melodramatic & they do a good job at pacing the drama, making the characters likable & makes you worried for their lives. I do have a small criticism for the film, at the end it becomes preachy, but I’m glad it doesn‘t affect the overall film.
-One Too Many (1985): Drunk ass Val Kilmer drinks way too much. It’s that kind of movie; he doesn’t care how much he drinks, he thinks he drinks too little & ends up killing someone. Did I mention he’s a high school student in this flick & he looks like a 30 year old. Classy. Also Michelle Pfifer is in this film. I’m surprised by the cast on some of these After School Specials, one of them being Martin Sheen since he’s in most of them being a character or being a voice over for a phone number, he even directed a few. One Too Many is a funny one, I’m sorry, I thought the way the film played out made me giggle. I know alcohol abuse is no laughing matter, but when Val Kilmer ran over a woman, I couldn’t help but laugh.
-Mom’s On Strike (1984): This one is just plain goofy, I don’t know how to feel about it. Yeardley Smith (The voice of Lisa Simpson, yup, that Yeardley Smith) is a tween in a family where everyone expects the mom to do everything for them. When the mom has had it, she goes on strike & leaves the father, son & Lisa Simpson to do everything themselves while the mom sits outside the home in her tent with a picket sign. She’s protesting motherhood, or am I reading way into it? I don’t know. As the family fails miserably at keeping their home clean without the need of their mother, the daughter tells her protesting mother that she is overrexagerating as more & more mothers begin to join in on the ‘mothers on stike’ cause. Before you even get a grasp on how this became news, a riot between the moms & feminist organizers (who didn’t really get the point of the protest) cause a riot on the front lawn. I don’t even know what kind of drugs the writers & directors snorted to make this. At one side it felt like they were trying to make a film with a “You better follow your mom’s orders, or else this might happen.” message, whereas the other side wanted to make a silly kids film. What the hell 1980’s?!!!
-I Wanna Go Home (1984): A boy, girl & a mom go into hiding after she looses custody of her kids. This is a serious issue that still (due to the stupidity of people) is happening. Oh, & a very young Seth Green is in this flick. He’s the midget ginger in this flick. The film is alright. I still wished the dad shot the mom in the head, It needed more HEADSHOTS!
-The Almost Royal Family (1980): This isn’t even a fucking After School Special, this is a rejected script to an unfunny sitcom. A family bought themselves a cottage in a deserted island between Canada & New York, just so his ass dad can be with his family, away from the city & finish his novel. I don’t really blame him, his family treated him like a cunt. So when setting up shop at his cottage, he finds out that the island is not owned by New York or Canada. So that means, “THEY OWN THEIR OWN COUNTRY!” so the daughter (Played by Sarah Jessica Barker Parker who used to be cute back then) gets lighting in a bottle when she finds out she’s exacted her dream of being royalty like the queen of England. Uh oh, SHINENEGAINS OCCUR! Oh wait, no, my bad everyone. Shenanigains don’t occur, instead they are isolated from all the other countries because FUCK YOU, EARTH!! Earth: Where every country is owned by douchebags. So they’re isolated because the dad said he wanted to be left alone from all the media & the unwanted press. Jeez, overreact much? So then here comes Je Suis Sexuale Paris! I kid you not, the French ambassador comes to the family’s aid & he’s the stereotypical “I will make you orgasm, just by saying anything French. (Whispers) FROMAGE.” So all other countries are willing to do anything they want, just to own a small island that is no bigger than a department store. Countries are stupid. The film is sooo dumb! I hate it, yet it has Sarah Jessica Parker before becoming a horseface, she was cute back then. I’ll give it credit for that.
-15 and Getting Straight (1989): One of the Corey’s is in this film, Feldman! Corey Feldman plays the stereotypical surfer dude & many others play the stereotypical mid 80’s teen archetypes who all deal with the same problem, getting over drugs in a rehabilitation clinic. The film takes a mature look at teen substance abuse & doesn’t shove images of drug use into the viewer’s face. I call it the ’12 Angry Men’ style of storytelling where you don’t have to see what happened to these characters, the interest & excitement comes from the dialogue & the backstory a character tells. This one, I’m surprised, wasn’t terrible at all. Very subtle in it’s handling of teen drug abuse, Subtlety: The best way to tell a story.
-Babies Having Babies (1986): Just like ’15 & Getting Straight’, this film also does the ’12 Angry Men’ way of storytelling where we learn all we need to know about these characters while waiting for their pregnancy counselor in a room (or was it a high school? I forget). So the film stars four girls, all teenager & each with their own different story, view & stance on pregnancy. A film targeted towards teens & tweens takes a more adult turn with twists & turns which make you say “I didn’t see that coming.” Babies Having Babies is a pretty interesting & smart take on teen pregnancy.
-The Riddle With Dyslexia (1984): I don’t even know what the hell happened in this flick. The film is about a boy’s struggle with dyslexia, it’s in the title, but the film is very schizophrenic. One scene would start with the boy staring at signs on the street, then the next he’d be trapped in a school, after the custodians have left the building. What the fuck, oh & it stars River Pheonix, pre snorting. I’m sorry, It had to be said. This film wasn’t terrible, it was just a weird trip that hit way too close to home. I’m not dyslexic or anything, but I do suffer from a learning disability that required me to leave class while they learned about science so I could learn what 2+2 was. RSP, retarded stupid people. It’s not what it meant, but it should have, (fucking PC parents). Before I rant a lot & loose myself from the actual topic, The Riddle With Dyslexia is a riddle on screen, I don’t know whether to classify it as a badly made film or a masterpiece. Drugs.
-The Day My Kid Went Punk (1987): This one was the funniest & most awkward of films I’ve seen. So this cello prodigy decides to take a job at a daycare center & takes it as an opportunity to hone a leather jacket, spiked hair & clown makeup that would make Marylyn Manson cringe. Oh, this is the 1980’s, of course anyone who is a ‘Punk’ is automatically considered ‘WORSE THAN HITLER’, but all that blows over when he shows everyone that it’s not about the looks of someone that should be taken to task, but their overall attitude & personality. Of course what’s an After School Special about punks without a Nancy Regan looking bitch to preaches the evils of being punk!!! This film doesn’t age well, especially since nowadays punks are nothing but teens who we see walking around & not really giving a damn what you think. Now that I think about it, Punk has become mainstream. Overall, this is one to get your jollies out of.
-Sexual Considerations (1992): Okay, this one actually pissed me off, not in the subject matter but in the characters & the way everything played out. So the story starts as a court, made up of all students (Ripoff of Student Court, an After School Special that is written better than this crap), is formed in a library. So the whole film stars a bunch of know-it-all smart people (that make Diablo Cody characters look tolerable), an innocent woman who had been sexually harassed by a newspaper editor & a bunch of ragtag early 90’s Brocultre mysoginist A-holes who make up the whole staff of the newspaper. So this girl goes on trial to prove that the editor of the high school newspaper has been sexually harassing her. Everyone in the film is against her, including the jurors who also piss me off. No one in this fucking film is likable, it’s all black & white. The Jurors in this film are man-hating bitches who think they’re one step above all & the men are nothing but Mysoginist stereotypes that would make Zack Morris say they go to far; there is no neutral side to this battle & that annoyed me.
I’m going to take a break from this & tell everyone that it’s alright to not agree with both sides & to make up a side for yourself. The world doesn’t have to be black & white, we can be gray. We don’t have to agree with just one side, we can take a few positives from each side & come up with an opinion you can call your own, it’s what makes us human. And if they don’t approve of your stance, then they can go fuck themselves with a bookshelf! And now back to our regularly scheduled blog entry.
So this film is pretty much a ‘Us vs. Them’ which I hate those kind of battles. The principal who set up the student court could have been portrayed as the middle man, but no, he just sat back like a lazy buttface. Fuck this movie & If you want to see a better court movie that doesn’t have shit characters, go watch ‘Student Court’. PS: Is it wrong of me to think all asian girls from the 90’s are the yellow power ranger? I’m not racist, I just feel like she may or may not be the yellow power ranger.
-My Mother The Dissident (1987): The cold war is done for now, but that didn’t stop me from thinking about a nuclear holocaust as a kid of the late 90‘s. A mother of two, who is married to a weapons distributor, decides to rebel against her husband & spread awareness about the dangers these weapons of mass destruction hold. She’s labeled as a ’nut’ by her husband & right wing friends, but that doesn’t stop her from fighting for her & her children’s future. This is quite an interesting film that could benefit from a remake. Not only does it deal with the protesting of weapons harmful to the world, but it also deals with the youth side of the ordeal as they fear that there won’t be a tomorrow. The movie just ends, there’s no resolution to it, almost as if to say “Yeah, we don’t have solution for this kind of problem.” which is both a good way to go & a sad way to go. It felt as if the massage was “You scared of the holocaust? Well, good luck with that.” It’s one I would see once, there was nothing that required a rewatch, but it’s a neat window towards the mindset of nuclear bombs through a 1987 view.
-The Day The Senior Class Got Married (1985): If you’ve seen one film about a teen couple so in-love that they decided to get married, you’ve seen it all. These two characters decided this in the midst of a class assignment where they are married for the week. Instead of testing out whether they could live with each other using the assignment, they decide to plan their real life marriage while doing their assignment. HOW FUCKING STUPID! This film just pissed me off by the lack of intelligence these characters have. NEXT! Also, why would you get married young? If you love to be incarcerated in your home & not have money for a social life, then go ahead, marry young.
-The Less Than Perfect Daughter (1991): Molly Ringwald look alike is bitched at by her cunt of a mom because she puts a C+ effort in school & hangs out with a blonde girl who’s stupider than a rock. When the girl has had enough of her bitchy mom, she decides to run away from home & live with her stupid friend. The whole moral of the story, if your mom is a bitch, send her to the third realm so you cannot go through homelessness & you get to have your ma’s house. J
THE MORE YOU KNOW!!!!
-Are You My Mother? (1986): This one is pretty good, ‘Are You My Mother’ deals with a teenage girl who comes to California to work for his father who works at a video studio, only to find out her mother is not dead, but lives in the homeless parts of California & suffering from a mental illness in which she believes the government is going to take her baby (a toy baby doll). It’s pretty sad & like ‘My Mother The Dissident’, it’s unclear what the true ending to the whole film is. Leh arte!
-Terrible Things My Mother Told Me (1988): Here’s the whole story in short. A bitch mom bitches to her daughter because she was a bitch, daughter confronts bitch mom because she is a bitch & finds out bitch mom is a bitch because her bitch mom treated her like a bitch. Moral of the story, if you were treated like a bitch as a kid, then you must treat your children like a bitch. I HATED THIS FUCKING FILM!!!! That mom should have died, sorry for the death threats towards fictional characters everyone, I just feel it would have benefited with some bloodshed.
-Shattered Spirits (1986): Okay, before I explain this film I should go into a little personal story here. So back in Senior year of high school I had to take a Health class because I needed credits. I blame the school for their shit requirements for graduation, but that’s another story. So the teacher comes to class with a videotape full of commercials & the film ‘Shattered Spirits’. I was expecting to see a mediocre melodramatic film about alcoholism & how it could ruin a family, but I was wrong. The minute Martin Sheen comes on screen & does his performance as an alcoholic dad, I’m completely pushed off my desk & knocked out by how brilliant Martin Sheen is. This isn’t a Hollywood production or a Soap Opera, this is a low budget After School Special which shows that Martin accepted this role for the substance rather than the outcome of the paycheck. Not only that but he has admitted to being all for these programs & the education towards the youth. So the film is about Martin Estevez who continues to promise his family that he would never drink or touch a bottle of alcohol, but temptation always gets to the best of him. So the family deals with both the emotional & physical repercussions of having an dunk, abusive father who ends up getting fired from his job. The film is just brilliant in how it’s both shot & acted to where I‘m surprised it didn‘t win any awards. Martin Sheen deserves a freaking Oscar for this film. I guess why I like this film is because for a moment in time my dad was an alcoholic (Don’t worry guys, he’s been off the juice for over a decade & counting, we‘re alright) & everything on screen depicting alcoholism was right on the dot. I highly recommend it to everyone to check this one out, it will still beat you into a pulp to see Martin Sheen & his brilliant ability to act. I WANT THIS ON VHS OR DVD!!!!!
So, that’s all the After School Specials that I’ve been watching & as a plus, they’re all on YouTube in their whole entirety, some of them also include commercials from when these films aired on TV, so it’s a double win!! I cannot say I’ve seen them all, there are some that aren’t on YouTube that really strike my interest. There’s one titled ’Gangs’ from 1988 which I remember seeing in grade school & it was one of the most badass After School Specials ever. It was practically a gang film, with drive by scenes, 80’s rap & thrashing metal filling the whole soundtrack & it even has one of thee bloodiest shootout scenes I’ve ever seen on film (At that point in my life). I wanna find a copy or at least see the film ’Gangs’ from 1988 on a torrent.
These films need to be re-aired (well, some more than others) because we live in a fucked up world & the way things are going, there’s no doubt that younger people are dealing with anxiety with all the shit they’re being exposed to. The FCC decided to have all TV stations air educational programming for 1hour, instead these stations air that bullshit Jerry Springer mediocrity crap, why not air After School Specials? There is still a market for these things, yet they’re dominated by religious zealots providing misinformation & stupid rapping mascots that make all us cool people cringe.
While I support the idea rebooting the After School Special, I’m also against it because then I feel they would talk down to the kids watching these films & deal with problems that aren’t as serious to everyone, like texting & all that stupid bullshit. If an After School Special was to make it today, they would have to deal with the problems parents are afraid to talk to their children about, then again that would cause an uproar from the PC parents. “How dare you make a film for kids about death!! I’m going to sue your ass, I strip for lawyers!!” You know, all that PC parent bullshit.
All of you have a good night & sit through an After School Special….FROM THE 80’s!!! You won’t be disappointed, that is if you’re watching that shit ‘Sexual Considerations’ film. That movie annoyed me.
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